Thursday 25 May 2023

S12M38: One Last Place

Well here we are. The last matchday in the 12th season. The next time a Google form joins this blog, it'll be entering (religious) adulthood. Madness

Results played out over the last week that have now confirmed many things.

Man City are champions - without playing, although they then beat Chelsea for good measure.
Arsenal will finish second, limping to the end of the season. If you'd like to read something else I wrote about that, On Bottle, you can do so.

Man Utd (assuming a point tonight against Chelsea) & Newcastle will get the CL places - order TBC. Liverpool & Brighton will get the EL places. Villa are now favourites for the ECL place, although Brentford and Spurs could get that yet. So that's one thing to look out for on Sunday. I'm going to zoom through mid-table, the Premier League equivalent of the Flyover States to focus on the 2 from 3 situation to go down.

Leicester and Leeds are currently in possession of those 2 spaces with Everton 2 points clear. 

This is how it plays out:

Everton WIN (at home to Bournemouth): EFC survive, LEI & LUFC down

Everton DRAW & LEI WIN: LEI survive on GD, EFC & LUFC Down

EFC DRAW & LUFC WIN, LEI DRAW/LOSE: GD into play. Currently EFC -24 & LUFC -27. So a 3-0 win for LUFC and a 1-1 draw on Merseyside sees LUFC survive on goals scored.

EFC LOSE: LEI & LUFC need to win. If both win, LEI survives. If only LUFC, LUFC survive.

Leicester play West Ham at home, Leeds have Spurs at home too

West Ham are the most in form. Spurs are the highest ranked....

So money on the table time: I've always felt Leeds would survive. But with 1 point from 9 in their last 5 games vs Leicester, Bournemouth & West Ham...it's not looking likely they score 3+ goals vs Spurs. They've scored 3+ times once since November, and that was a statistically mad game vs Wolves. So....Leeds can only stay up if Everton lose & Leicester lose or draw. I just cant see it and it hurts me to say it. Leeds to go down. 

Now who will join them - this one is easier. Leicester are awful and we're far enough away from the ECL final that I think West Ham will win. So, Leicester to go down too, in 19th, Leeds to get a 2 goal win and bitten fingernails to finish in 18th. 

Bosh.

Thursday 18 May 2023

S12M37: Natural Justice


I want to talk about 2 things this week. Let's get the football out the way first:

At the bottom, Southampton are officially relegated. Leicester are 2 points adrift with games at Newcastle and at home to West Ham to save them - a tough ask. West Ham also host Leeds who are 1 point behind Notts Forest - I'd thought they'd be safe based on West Ham being distracted by their ECl semifinal this week, and then playing a Spurs side on the beach at home in the last game, but they're making it very squeeky bum.

Only a point above them are Everton who play Wolves & Bournemouth - both with nothing to play for, so you'd *think* a fired up side would be able to get at least 3 point from 6 and make it interesting. Because only 2 point above them are Notts Forest, who play Arsenal and Palace, so you'd expect, under normal circumstances, to struggle to pick up many more points.

Except, these are not normal circumstances. Arsenal limp to the Midlands, deflated after all but ending the title race. City's win at 2pm made it a racing cert, and a low-energy performance from Arsenal saw them lose to Brighton, chasing Europa League themselves. Man City should wrap it up mathematically this weekend against Chelsea - historically a potential banana skin, but let's be honest....not really one now.

The CL places still sit with Newcastle and Man Utd, who are both 1 point ahead of Liverpool with a game in hand. Late season revival on Merseyside just not enough to rescue them, and a major rebuild of the midfield (and defence probably) will be underway this summer with a new DoF and the announced departures of Firmino, Keita, Milner & AOC so far.

The only other question of note, is who will get the ECL place next season. It looked like Villa might pip Spurs after beating them last week in a "play off" - but they go to Liverpool next whilst Spurs play Brentford, which segues me nicely to topic 2...

Ivan Toney. What a farce. 

In November 2022, he was charged with 232 betting offences, followed up by 30 additional charges in Dec 2022. 262 charges in total, over a period of 4 years. He admitted to many of these charges in February 2023. The hearing (on all remaining charges after the latter 30 were withdrawn) was delayed until this week, when he was found guilty on all counts and suspended for 8 months effective immediately. There was also the usual pointless fine given.

Since the charges were first made, he has scored 10 goals. 3 of these goals rescued draws and 2 of these goals were winners. 4 goals were scored in games that Brentford won by 2 goals. Only 1 goal was scored in a defeat - and even that was an opening goal.

Toney therefore, has gained Brentford 9 points directly. That could have been the difference between a European place next season and lower-mid table. I don't know how to quantify his indirect impact either. There's also the direct Toney impact on the other teams - 2 extra points for Arsenal, Villa & Brighton would be very well received, and Forest would love that extra point now - Fulham probably don't care to be fair.

He has therefore had a real, material impact on this season, playing with charges over him - charges that he had already admitted to in part. He will now play no further part this season against Spurs & Man City - in games that could, theoretically, have huge impacts in determining European places and the absolute fag end of a title race. There's no doubt that Brentford without Toney are a much less worrying prospect - their second top scorer has 7 - 35% of Toney's total.

The FA could have played this out in two ways that would not have impacted the integrity as dramatically:

  1. They could have suspended Toney immediately when he accepted certain charges. After a hearing on the contested charges, his ban would take into account "time served"
  2. They could have scheduled a hearing date for the post-season - acknowledging that he has played 95% of this one, with any ban commencing from next season (ie 1st July)
This was a situation entirely within their control - it's not an injury, and it's not an urgent matter. If due process dictates that all charges are read and judged at the same time, then set a date that is appropriate and fair - there's no rush now.

That's not even reflecting that he was given an England cap during this time, or that his sentence is at the lenient end (accepting I don't have the facts of the case) and he will now serve ~1/3 of it during the off season, thus costing him around ~25 Premier League game - or ~10 bets/game. 

Not for the first time with the guardians of the game, I find myself asking "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

Yes, I've read Dan Brown. Get over it

Friday 12 May 2023

S12M36: Check your shoelaces

 Well then.

3 to play.

Title race just about still alive

Race for 4th down to 2 from 3 probably (sorry Brighton...just too many to overhaul after last weekend)

They'll back themselves for a first European adventure however - in the Europa League and not the ECL

Relegationwise - Southampton are done - possibly officially by the next time we speak. Last week I said Everton and Forest would join them - so of course, both win. And Leicester get thumped...so it's all change. And as time runs out, it's now 2 from those 4 - West Ham & Bournemouth aren't mathematically safe yet, but could be by the end of the weekend.

Upsettingly, Chelsea hit that milestone too with a first win in the 21st century for Lampard. We are gutted in this house and have had a week of official mourning.

Friday 5 May 2023

S12M35: Finality Incoming

 What a cracking week in the PL.

Goals, drama and some mini-duels starting to see a result

Palace and West Ham played out a 4-3 to kick the matchday off - both teams are probably safe, if sensationally flawed. Brentford beat Forest 2-1 at home -  a later winner continuing their push for an unlikely European place, whilst depriving Forest of what might be a critical point. Also - Ivan Toney - played again, scored again - even after having admitted some of the gambling charges against him. Don't really understand that one.

Brighton then thumped Wolves 6-0 -  a Wolves side very much on the beach. Brighton now sit in 6th with games in hand on Liverpool - so really look good for a first ever European journey next season.

Comfortable wins on the Sunday for Man City, Man Utd and Newcastle pretty much showing the top 4 is locked up, and City went top for the first time in ages. Bournemouth (Safe) then thumped Leeds (not safe) who subsequently did the move du jour of sacking the new manager for a 3-play this season. Will it work Cotton?

Final game on Sunday was an Anfield where Spurs did their usual thing of conceded loads of early goals. Only the 3 this time, which they incredibly clawed back with a 93rd min equaliser from Richarlison. Absolute scenes. First goal of the season for the £60m signing. Ex-Everton. Mason Magic,

Except, as Sir Alex Ferguson once said - lads, it's Tottenham.

Liverpool kick off, ball worked back to Allison who thumps it forward, failing to pick out a teammate. Moura knocks it back to Forster to clear except...he doesn't. He hits it to Jota who fires across Forster and wins the game (that should never have been in the balance) for Liverpool. Sensational. Spurs slump. Klopp goes mad and pulls a hammy. Scandal as Jota had connected with Skipp's head 10 minutes earlier and calls for a red fell on deaf ears. Just very very funny stuff.

Sack the interim to the interim I say.

Bank Holiday Monday saw the true relegation 6 pointer which of course ended up in a draw between Leicester and Everton.

I'm calling it now. Southampton are down. Everton also just look awful. And the third.....Forest.

Final matchday of the round was at the Emirates where Arsenal ended their title-run-ending rut by thumping the most abject Chelsea side in living memory. Sensational stuff from Super Frank. 

Sack the interim I say. Actually don't. Give him a 10 year ironclad contract.