S8M7: Tarek's on Fire (Bookmakers are terrified)

It's an inevitability of time that we all get older - and this inanimate blog is no different. A famous consequence of the unstoppable senescence is forgetfulness, and frankly I'm sure I've riffed on the title before a couple of years ago but frankly, you probably had forgotten and I can't be bothered to go back and check. Kudos to you if you stopped reading with indignation when I implied that senescence was an inevitable consequence of ageing - you might think of yourself as a bottle of Chateau Lafite 1787 ($156,450) but wouldn't drink that if I were you.

Anyway, Tarek gets the plaudits because he's (co-) topscored 2 weeks in a row. Apologies for the inevitable terrible score he gets this week. It's been a roller coaster 7 seasons for the big man - the Zlatan of Central London, some would say, with some league positions to forget - but here he is, riding high, a shining example to us all. You win the David Silverman Award for fairytales come true.

Right, there's enough smoke blown up 2 of you - let's talk football...

Fulham & Watford drew at the Cottage, whilst Burnley finally got their season off to a start, thumping Bournemouth 4-0. Not quite as thumpy as Man City who are starting to crank up the pressure and really shine. The Dwight Gayle (MEMORIAL JOSH GAON ARE YOU HAPPY) derby ended in stalemate whilst Leicester & Liverpool recorded comfortable home wins. This was not the case at Old Trafford, where a spirited Wolves continued their great start to the campaign with a draw at a very unhappy Man United. That Pogba/Mourino training video was just ice cold. Spurs kept ticking over away to Brighton, winning relatively comfortably 2-1, whilst Arsenal won 2-0 relatively uncomfortably the following day to Everton. Aubameyang's clincher was only offside if you agree with the concept of parallel lines, which I think is really up for debate in these turbulent times.

<<INSERT GRAPHIC OF THAT SKY SPORTS THING WITH THE WIGGLY OFFSIDE LINE. YOU KNOW THE ONE>>

Chelsea were held by a West Ham side who could well have taken all 3 points, leaving Liverpool all alone in the 100% record club. They will have the chance to end that this weekend...

Let's get statty:

This week, 24 people played
Most popular predicted results: Liverpool, Arsenal & Man Utd WINS (24/24)
Most disputed result: Burnley vs Bournemouth (7-7-10 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (506/1)
Lowest odds: Me (216/1)
Average odds: 335/1

Best predictors: Tarek, Josh Gaon & David Brickman (7/10)
Worst predictors: 4 of you (4/10)
Average score: 5.46/10

Everyone's scores:

The leaderboard (>2/3; 5/6)

To this week's predos:

West Ham vs Man Utd - MAN UTD
Arsenal vs Watford - ARSENAL
Everton vs Fulham - DRAW
Huddersfield vs Spurs - SPURS
Man City vs Brighton - MAN CITY
Newcastle vs Leicester - LEICESTER
Wolves vs Southampton - WOLVES
Chelsea vs Liverpool - CHELSEA
Cardiff vs Burnley - BURNLEY
Bournemouth vs Crystal Palace - DRAW

Total odds: 2453/1

Good luck guys

S8M6: Whoever invented Fantasy Football had a desk job

Every now and again, you just have to stand back and enjoy quality, regardless of where it comes from. In the era of Messi/Ronaldo levels of output, quality & consistency, everyone else stands in the shade. In any other era though, we'd be spoilt by some of the talent out there, even if they don't turn it on in every match. Hazard is one such player. When  he's hot, he's unplayable. Ask the Cardiff defence - his hat trick just deserts for toying with them.

The best players bend games to their will, and that's why *controversially* I don't include Salah in that. He's a deadly weapon, but doesn't contribute enough elsewhere, and so when his hot-streak cools, he's not at the same level. Fortunately, Liverpool didn't rue the missed chances, defeating Spurs at their first game at the new stadium.

What?

DOCK. THEM. POINTS.

(In all honesty, not only do I find this both hilarious and the special treatment infuriating, but actually the parking at work would be a disaster had they moved in, so frankly I hope this goes on for the whole season, and ideally, part of next season too)

Bournemouth are looking strong this year, as, annoyingly are Palace (well, strong...stronger than I'd predicted). Which idiot said Hodgson would be the first manager to go?

Man City don't seem to have the same swagger as last year, but still have enough to swat aside most sides, Fulham the latest victims. Arsenal won consecutive away matches for the first time since ages, - the Rafalution teeters on the edge of Rafvolt. Your're welcome.

Man Utd's (Mourinho's) mini-revival continues - this is what's known as the pre-terminal boost where the system pulls together it's last remaining reserves to improve before it runs out of juice and one final bump sends the whole thing crashing down. Mark my words, this is where Man Utd are - it's all forced smiles, but it's one unexpected defeat away from Mourinho offering to fight Martial et al in the carpark after the game. That would be an outstanding addition to MoTD.

Wolves really have got off to a flyer, but in fairness they are the budget Man City so there is that. Congrats to West Ham for finally getting some points, but frankly I could have done without the Arnautovic injury, so thanks for that. Southampton & Brighton shared the South Coast honours, with a cracker from Hojbjerg, 2 penalties with last minute drama. Boss.

Let's get statty:

This week, 26 people played
Most popular predicted results: Chelsea & Man City WINS (26/26)
Most disputed result: Bournemouth vs Leicester (10-7-9 split)

Highest odds: Doron 1730/1
Lowest odds: Sam 1094/1
Average odds: 1451/1

Best predictors: Josh Daniels & Tarek Najm (8/10)
Worst predictors: WhoScored.com & David Brickman (4/10)
Average score: 5.77/10

Best predicted results: Chelsea & Man City WINS (26/26)
Worst predicted result: West Ham WIN (0/26)

Everyone's results:

To the leaderboard (>2/3 matchdays; 4/5)

This week's predos:

Fulham vs Watford (Jokanovic derby)- DRAW
Burnley vs Bournemouth - BOURNEMOUTH
Crystal Palace vs Newcastle (Dwight Gayle derby) - CRYSTAL PALACE
Cardiff vs Man City - MAN CITY
Leicester vs Huddersfield - LEICESTER
Liverpool vs Southampton (Literally everyone derby) - LIVERPOOL
Man Utd vs Wolves - MAN UTD
Brighton vs Spurs - SPURS
West Ham vs Chelsea - CHELSEA
Arsenal vs Everton - ARSENAL

Total odds: 217/1

Good luck guys

S8M5: 1 glove does not a winter make

Regular readers will know that post-International breaks, I tend to phone the blog in a bit. Not much point rehashing old PL news and frankly my memory doesn't always stretch that far anyway - so stuff like that anyway. If you want to read a blog about an obscure match in 1994, I'm your man...

Anyway, we had some League of Nations/Nations League stuff that meant nothing to me, other than a salutory lesson in poor branding from the bods at UEFA. Hopefuly, this idea won't fail quite so spectacularly. War and the subsequent domination of Europe(an football) by Germany. #opitimism

Anyway. that's all done now and we can look forward to the return of the PL with all its attendant delight.

I really have nothing else to say. Let's get statty:

Matchday 4:

27 people played
Most popular predicted results: Chelsea, Everton & Man City WINS (27/27)
Most disputed result: West Ham vs Wolves (12-7-8 split)

Highest odds: Me 229/1 (big spender!)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 153/1
Average odds: 200/1

Best predictors: 4 of you (7/10)
Worst predictors: Josh Gaon & Stuart Patterson (4/10)
Average score: 5.48/10

Best predicted results:Chelsea & Man City WINS (27/27)
Worst predicted result: Everton vs Huddersfield DRAW (0/27)

Everyone's results:

The leaderboard (>2/3 available weeks, 3/4)

That early season range still there - it'll move about quite a bit for the next few weeks...

This week's predos:

Spurs vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL
Bournemouth vs Leicester - LEICESTER
Chelsea vs Cardiff - CHELSEA
Huddersfield vs Crystal Palace - DRAW
Man City vs Fulham - MAN CITY
Newcastle vs Arsenal - ARSENAL
Watford vs Man Utd - DRAW
Wolves vs Burnley - WOLVES
Everton vs West Ham - EVERTON
Southampton vs Brighton - DRAW

Total odds: 1728/1

Good luck guys