S17-whatever number ends 2021: TOO MUCH FOOTBALL

 Right.

I've had enough of this nonsense. Can't walk 2 steps without another sodding football match. Enough already. How is a man supposed to hold down a job, fix 2 kids, 2 rodents and a wife, watch Netflix and do a blog every day. I'm not superman.

So let's quickly recap all the nonsense, then I'll do a results dump, and then, here's the clever bit - ALL THE FIXTURES UNTIL DEC 31st. Merry Xmas ya filthy Animals.

Now, I have altruistic motives for doing this. I'm going on holiday if my family don't get Covid v13.0 and frankly, I don't want to be tapping away at a spreadsheet on the sandy beaches, or uploading a graph one handed whilst I smash a 99 Flake. So, glad tidings etc, sort yourselves out.

If we don't end up going on holiday due to Covid then I will be EXTREMELY grouchy, and will be cancelling the entire season. Not just of Impossibilitee, but of the entire Premier League. So, if I were you, I'd make sure we all stay very healthy until I have to do a lateral flow test down a webcam so another medical professional can confirm that I am still probus. Yeah, that's right BoJo, I know Latin too. Or I can use Google. Whatever.

Right - brief PL recap.

Liverpool, Man City & Chelsea - very good

West Ham - surprisingly robust

Man Utd, Spurs - Irritatingly stabilised

Arsenal - Same old

Leicester - Disappointing

Wolves - Suprising

Brentford, Brighton, Crystal Palace - Mid table

Aston Villa - Degrealished

Everton, Watford, Burnley- Crap

Leeds - Bielsad

Southampton - Pressing crap

Newcastle - Loaded crap

Norwich - Relegated

That sums up the last few weeks quite nicely.


To the results:

Matchday 13

19 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (19/19)
Most disputed predictions: Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa, Brighton vs Leeds & Brentford vs Everton (9-8-8, 11-4-4- & 10-3-6 splits)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (1297/1
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (407/1)
Average odds: 1035/1

Best predictor: Loads of you (6.66/10 - pro-rated...Burnley vs Spurs called off)
Worst predictor: AFM 3.33/10
Average score: 5.26/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool WIN (19/19)
Worst predicted result: Chelsea vs Man Utd DRAW (1/19 - Well done Zoe)

Matchday 14

14 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (14/14)
Most disputed prediction: Man Utd vs Arsenal (3-5-6 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (3889/1)
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (1906/1)
Average odds: 2898/1

Best predictors: AFM & Josh Daniels (7/10) 
Worst predictor: ECI & David Silverman (3/10)
Average score: 5/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool WIN (14/14)
Worst predicted result: Southampton vs Leicester DRAW (0/14)

Matchday 15

16 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (16/16)
Most disputed prediction: Newcastle vs Burnley (6-7-3 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (1604/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (1604/1)
Average odds: 1604/1

Best predictors: AFM & Me (7/10)
Worst predictors: Loads of you (4/10)
Average score: 5.25/10

Best predicted result: WIN (16/16)
Worst predicted result: West Ham WIN (1/16 - well done Josh Daniels)

Matchday 16

14 people played
Most popular predicted results: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool & Chelsea WINS (14/14)
Most disputed prediction: Crystal Palace vs Everton (8-4-2 split)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (177/1 - 9 games)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (79/1 - 9 games)
Average odds: 141/1

Best predictors: Loads of you (8.89/10 - pro-rated - Brighton vs Spurs called off)
Worst predictor: Raffi Kleiman (5.56/10)
Average score: 8.02/10

Best predicted result: Man City, Arsenal, Liverpool & Chelsea WINS (14/14)
Worst predicted result: Burnley vs West Ham DRAW (2/14)

Everyone's results:



To the Leaderboard:

>2/3 matchdays; 11/16

To the predo list:

Good luck! See you in Jan!

S11M16: When I'm World King

 ALL THE RESULTS WILL FOLLOW LATER

M16 up now for the stupid Friday Night Game

Good luck!

S11M14-15

 M14 here

M15:

Good luck!

S11M13: Piecadapie

Right. Normal business restored unfortunately. Comfortable wins for the Giant 3; New manager bounces for Villa & Norwich and goals galore at Burnley & Newcastle. Oh. 🤨

Conte seems to be sorting Spurs out, whilst the Bielsa bubble has burst as it always does - I've got money on him not lasting the season. A cracking win for Wolves over a West Ham side who, like a henchman in Austin Power just won't die. Bubble. 

But the real tragedy happened in Hertfordshire. You'd have to have a HERT (geddit) of stone not to have found the plight of Solksjaer's Man Utd the funniest thing in the world, and those bloody upstarts have gone and ruined it. Just win 2-1 and keep the party going. Now look what you've done - turned the volume up so loud the neighbours have called the police and we're all suffering. 

If you don't think that eventually, they'll get it right, then I've got a bridge to sell you - they've got too much money to properly fall away, and getting rid of Woodward, and then getting Rangnick (and then probably Pochettino) in is going to lock in the Top 4 until the Liverpool cycle ends. Or Chelsea implode again....but Tuchel hasn't started to fall out with people yet. 

So yes. Well done Watford for spoiling it for everyone. Honestly, I thought we could start liking them again after Deeney left. Pah. 

Let's get statty:

This week, 16 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (16/16)

Most disputed prediction: Newcastle vs Brentford (5-7-4 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (8730/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (7286/1)
Average odds: 8008/1

Best predictor: Nick Taylor Collins (7/10)
Worst predictor: Zoe Daniels (2/10)

Average score: 4.38/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (16/16)
Worst predicted result: Norwich WIN (1/16 - well done Nick)

Everyone's results:

The Leaderboard (>2/3; 9/12)

To this week's predos:

 Good luck all!

S11M12: Work up an appetite

 That international break was really annoying. A fantastic weekend of football should have left me giddy & crowing, but instead I've basically forgotten what happened. Other than Liverpool losing of course, which was thoroughly enjoyable. Always rated the Moyesiah.

England scored an absolute hatful against some people, including an actual 10-0 win which seems a little silly. Especially when you could see their legs had gone and Tammy Abraham was just going absolute mad against a depleted back line. I know the arguments for why it stays like this, and and I'm sympathetic to them, but still...it just doesn't feel like cricket. Which San Marino would probably be better at.

Let's get statty:

This week, 19 people played
Most popular predicted results: Brentford, Chelsea & Brighton WIN (18/19)

Most disputed results: Crystal Palace vs Wolves, Everton vs Spurs & Leeds vs Leicester (11-7-1 & 2-5-12 split respectively) 

Highest/Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (796/1)

Average odds: go figure

Best predictor: Zoe Daniels (7/10)

Worst predictors: Nathan Daniels, David Graniewitz & Andrew Feneley's Mum (3/10)

Average score: 4.47/10

Best predicted results: Man City & Arsenal WIN (16/19)

Worst predicted result: Brighton vs Burnley DRAW (0/19)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 8/11)

To this week's predos

Good luck everyone

S11M11: Away Daze

 Thoroughly enjoyable weekend of football that.

England's Number 1 getting the plaudits for being the best keeper ever ever; shock results at Anfield and Man City, the Saudi project ending in chaos, Ole putting another 20p in the toy car outside the supermarket, although unfortunately, the Nuno project has now ended in N17. £14m apparently for 10 games. If anyone knows Daniel Levy, he can sack me for being dreadful for half of that.

Burnley beat Brentford and Southampton won at Vicarage Road it says here...Watford really are a basketcase club. Wonder who's got them next...

More away wins for Leeds at Carrow Road and West Ham in the David Cameron derby. They're really having a good calendar year.

Finally, on Monday night, Wolves got a great win against an unravelling Everton side, and this is a good thing because my boss is a Wolves fan. So made for a happy office* on Tuesday

Let's get statty:

This week, 17 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (17/17)
Most disputed prediction: Spurs vs Man Utd (5-6-6 split)

Highest odds: Steven Dabiels (2128/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (1887/1)
Average odds: 2008/1

Best predictors: Loads of us (5/10)
Worst predictors: Loads of you (2/10)
Average score:3.65/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (16/17)
Worst predicted results: Liverpool vs Brighton DRAW & Crystal Palace WIN (0/17)

Everyone's results:


Leaderboard (>2/3; 7/10)



To this week's predos:



Good luck all!

S11M10: Leaf it out

So this week's marked the exciting moment in the year where the big rake comes out. The springy metal one, to pile up all the leaves before the big, chompy, leaf mulchy thing comes and destroys the little blighters, shredding them into squirrel bedding.

This, in fairness, has very little to do with football. I just thought you should all know what goes on behind the curtain when I'm not Impossibiliteeing.

This weekend, was a case in point. L'Arse kicked off the weekend by thrashing Le Villa. Boom Boom. Then followed a paddle spanking at Stamford Bridge where Norwich did a badness. Someone pointed out that they're currently on pace to beat Derby's record low points total. #winning

Newcastle got their first points of the Saudi era, Callum Wilson bicycling in to save some petrodollars ahead of COP26. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere. My fav game of the weekend - at least at first - came at Goodison where Watford went mad in the last 15 mins to overturn a deficit to win 5-2. Boom Boom Boom. Some draws happened, Man City won, Leicester got a good win away at Brentford and Tottenham get battered everywhere they go.

Alors. To Old Trafford.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Thoroughly enjoyed that, through the haze of delicious Japanese single malt and, extra kudos to the editor who cut from Fergie to Dalglish. 

Frankly the only sadness was that Ronaldo didn't see red and that Liverpool didn't score more. MORE OLE PLS

Let's get statty:

This week, 17 people played
Most popular predicted result: Chelsea WIN (17/17)
Most disputed prediction: Leeds vs Wolves (7-5-5 split)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (2011/1)
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (1671/1)
Average odds: 1847/1

Best predictor: Gaj Thiru (8/10)
Worst predictors: Feneley & Zoe Daniels (3/10)
Average score: 5.24/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (17/17)
Worst predicted result: Watford WIN (1/17 - well done Gaj)

Everyone's scores:

To the leaderboard (>2/3; 7/9)

To this week's predos:

 

Good luck all!

S11M9: Shiver me Timbers

Hello all.

Cold isn't it? Broke out the big coat for a moment, and thought about the hat, but then remembered, a la Dave Rocastle, Who I Am, Where I'm From & What I Represent so changed into something a bit more summery.

Anyway, horrific weather never hurt anyone. I think.

It certainly didn't hurt Liverpool pyrrhically avenging their defeat a few years ago at Vicarage Road, nor thoroughly enjoyable wins in the Midlands for Leicester coming from behind to beat Man Utd or Wolves taking the last minute spoils at Villa Park with a dreadful goal to concede.

Routineish wins for Chelsea and City sat alongside a bore draw between already relegated Norwich and Brighton who are reverting to the mean, whilst Southampton got their first win of the season against an off colour Leeds. Literally. They played in blue

West Ham continued their purple...streak...what's longer than a patch beating Rafa Benitez's Everton (still not right) at Goodison, whilst the Jaysh al Toon took a beating in their first game of the regime to an inspired Spurs. Not sure what they were inspired by but still, 3-1 at half time and all that.

Finally, on a wet Monday night, Arsenal bookended Crystal Palaces goals to earn a point with the last kick of the game. Laca had his shreddies at half time.

Let's get statty:

This week, 17 people played
Most popular predicted results: Liverpool & Man City WINS (17/17)
Most disputed result: Southampton vs Leeds (7-4-6 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (1850/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (657/1)
Average odds: 1254/1

Best predictor: Raffi Kleiman (6/10)
Worst predictors: Feneley & Joe Abbott (3/10)
Average score: 4.29/10

Best predicted results: Liverpool & Man City WINS (17/17)
Worst predicted result: Wolves WIN (0/17)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (<2/3 matchdays; 6/8)  

To this week's predos:


Good luck all

S11M8: FIF-OFF

So, another classic post-international break blog.

You knwo who had it right? That Wenger bloke. Maybe not the 2 yearly world cups but the larger international windows to stop this nonsense. Always had time for that wonderful wonderful man.

So trying to remember back 2 weeks - presumably some stuff happened. 

Looking back at the results, I can't really remember much about these games other than JWP was sent off for Southampton, Brighton were better than Arsenal & Liverpool vs Man City was a great game.

Beyond that - I'd be reading scores off a page. I'm too old for this nonsense now. Stop the Nations league or qualifiers or whatever has just happened.

Let's get statty:

This week, 20 people played
Most popular predicted result: Chelsea WIN (19/20)
Most disputed prediction: Spurs vs Aston Villa (8-6-6 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (8391/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (1814/1)
Average odds: 5103/1

Best predictor: Gaj Thiru (7/10)

Worst predictor: Steven Daniels (2/10)
Average score: 4/10

Worst predicted result: Man Utd vs Everton DRAW (2/20)
Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (19/20)

Everyone's scores:

To the leaderboard (>2/3; 5/7)

To this week's predos:


Good luck all

S11M7: The Glass Sausage

 Well you lot are on it aren't you?

Nudge nudge, push push, moan moan. 

Where's my blog this? Predos that. 

If only your predictions were as good as your reminders....

I'm allowed to throw shade for 2 reasons

1. My ball, my rules

2. I'm currently literally carrying all of yous. Sharing the load with 2 others but still...our Atlassian strength gives us certain rights

2 weeks on since the last blog and it's all shaken up a bit. The invincible Spurs, Chelsea etc are...well...not. Liverpool look hungry again. Manchesters United & City aren't exactly firing but for the most part getting the job done - will the occasional stumble cost them down the line?

Brighton & Everton have had excellent starts, and West Ham & Villa will also be pretty happy. Brentford already look like big game players, whilst down the bottom - early prediction here - one of Leeds, Newcastle or Southampton will be in the mire all the way through the season. Burnley & Norwich already down for my money.

Double results week, so let's get statty:

M5

18 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (18/18)

Most disputed prediction: Norwich vs Watford (5-6-7 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (874/1)

Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (571/1)

Average odds: 723/1

Best predictor: Gaj (7/10)

Worst predictor: 3 of you (2/10)

Average score: 4.1/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool WIN (16/18)

Worst predicted result: Man City vs Southampton DRAW (18/18)

M6

18 people played

Most popular predicted result: Leicester WIN (18/18)

Most disputed prediction: Leeds vs West Ham & Watford vs Newcastle (4-9-5 & 7-8-3 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (3111/1)

Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (1299/1)

Average odds: 2020/1

Best predictor: David Graniewitz (7/10)

Worst predictor: Me (2/10)

Average score: 4.16/10

Best predicted result: Leicester WIN (18/18)

Worst predicted result: Aston Villa WIN (0/18)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3 weeks, 5/6)

To this week's predos:

Good luck all!

S11M5: It's happened again

Retrospective blogging:

In the famous words of Ned Flanders, let's get it on.

Obviously we're now 1.5 matchdays in arrears which means you'll no doubt have been unable to enjoy the football this weekend whilst you are in need of my tepid takes.

I would beg forgiveness but I've just spent 10 days doing that (niche, know your audience) so soz, wait until next season.

The early kick off saw Arsenal titan Paddy V batter the North London Cockerels 15-0 or something. Just like old times. New titan PEA then battered the DeliaSmiths from a yard out to kickstart something special. 35 games. 35 wins. You read it here first.

Graham Potter - linked with the Spurs job over the summer showed his skill in getting Brighton the first away win at the new Griffin Park. Away wins continued with the Mahrez grudge match going the way of his current employers.

THE soap opera of the weekend was the return of sex criminal Club Legend Cristiano Ronaldo to Old Trafford where he was watched on from the Directors Box by Sex Criminal Club Legend Ryan Giggs. A redebut brace left his fans wanting more which was conveniently the gist of the gurner's letter to his lawyer in the US legal proceedings. Close to the mark perhaps - but as someone who was unaware of the details of the episode until very recently, I think it's probably worth the oxygen of publicity now (Tough read).

Moving on, Southampton & West Ham bored everyone to tears. Wolves finally got the W they deserved, Chelsea & Liverpool both got easy wins and lastly, on Monday night, Everton held off a Burnley side who have really got out of bed on the wrong side this season so far.

Norwich & Burnley to go own already?!?!?

Let's get statty:

This week, 18 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man Utd WIN (18/18)
Most disputed prediction: Brentford vs Brighton (8-6-4 split respectively)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (1738/1)
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (1403/1
Average odds: 1681/1

Best Predictor: Joe Abbott & Nathan Daniels (8/10)
Worst Predictors: Jospeh Matcha & Raffi Kleiman (4/10)
Average score: 6.11/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd WIN (18/18)

Worst predicted result: Crystal Palace WIN (1/18 - well done Dr NJSPTC) 

Everyone's results:




Leaderboard (>2/3 matchdays; 3/4)

This week's predictions

Good Luck all!

S11M4: Time for an Undershirt

 I've previously written about the glory of a sunny August afternoon setting the scene for the return of football after a summer break. The warm glow setting the scene for a party atmosphere both on & off the pitch. Someone should invent a term for that sort of thing that you'll learn for GCSE English Literature and then never use again in real life, except to point out that you still remember a pretty pointless term from your English Literature GCSE which is now a scary amount of years ago.

Also 9/11 was 20 years ago. What the actual **** happened there? (for our younger players, ask your parents). I remember the day like it was yesterday. Arsenal were playing Real Mallorca in the Champions league and it was on ON DIGITAL (younger players, ask your parents) which we didn't have so I went to my friend Ben's house to watch it. I got there a bit early and we were just watching the now infamous clip of the planes hitting the tower over and over - no information was really coming out then, and even at that age, I couldn't believe that the game would go ahead. It was sort of a bit meaningless.

Oh, UEFA. How I should have realised then....

Arsenal lost 1-0 if you want to know, Ashley Cole was sent off. Battered them 3-1 in the return though with one of my favourite goals - Bergkamp heading in a bullet from a Gio van Bronckhorst cross, before Henry sealed progression in injury time with a classic Henry goal and a classic Henry celebration.

Ah nostalgia. I digress. Younger players - by season 31 of Impossibilitee, you too will do this. Older players - this must be how you feel about *checks notes* Stanley Matthews.

International break to qualify for a corrupt World Cup (oh FIFA....how I should have realised...) and some stuff happened but it's basically a 128 team tournament or something which nobody is not allowed to qualify for so I find it hard to care any more than my usual level of care about international football which is surprisingly little. I've been distracting myself with the cricket (oh) and the tennis, enjoying the meteoric rise of Emma Raducanu who wasn't even born when Arsenal lost 1-0 to Real Mallorca. Madness

Let's get statty:

This week 21 people played
Most popular predicted result: Spurs WIN (20/21)
Most disputed prediction: Brighton vs Everton (9-6-6 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (851/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (770/1)
Average odds: 811/1

Best Predictor: David Brickman (7/10
Worst Predictor: Zoe Daniels (1/10)
Average score (4.9/10)

Best predicted result: Spurs WIN (20/21)

Worst predicted results: Burnley vs Leeds, West Ham vs Crystal Palace & Aston Villa vs Brentford DRAWS (2/21)

Everyone's stats:

The leaderboard for the first time this season. Reminder that to qualify you have to play >2/3 of available weeks, which in this case is all 3 weeks so far)

Early days yet but David Brickman wants to be the first person to retain the trophy. I on the other hand love the Arsenal so much that I want to be just like them. Volatility will reign for several weeks yet so....yeah.

To this week's predictions:

Good luck all!

S11M3: Circle of Life

I can confirm that the football has returned. The surrealism of last weekend has started to dissipate and routine is slowly returning, exercising some mental muscles that once got a good working out.

Always nice as well when a bit of footballing routine helps ease that transition. Easy Liverpool & Man City wins. Check. Newcastle defeat. Check. Man Utd struggle at Southampton. Check. Arsenal get bullied out of the game by a Chelsea striker. Check. Nice.

What else happened? The newest London derby ended with spoils shared at Selhurst Park, as did the first PL game in front of a full Elland Rd in ages. Brighton battered Watford and they look very good this season. Bissouma anyone? The return to Wolves ended happily for Nuno Espirito Santo, with an early Dele penalty the difference maker. Finally, what on earth is happening to West Ham and how are they maintaining this form. I can't prove it but I reckon its EPO or something.

Let's get statty:

This week, 18 people played

Most popular predicted results: Liverpool & Man City WIN (18/18)

Most disputed result: West Ham vs Leicester (5-8-5 split)

Highest/Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 1042/1

Average odds: .....

Best predictors: David Brickman/Gaj Thiru (8/10)

Worst predictor: Daniel Wigman (3/10)

Average score: 5.71/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool & Man City WIN (18/18)

Worst predicted result: Southampton vs Man Utd DRAW (1/18 - well done Gaj)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard to follow in the next blog

Matchday 3 predos:

Good luck all!

S11M2: Are we back?

Well that was nice...

I'm not sure why it still doesn't feel real to me. I haven't been to a football match for ~18 months, which is probably the longest I've not been since I went my first game. I'm unlikely to go for several months more - so no idea if that'll change matters. Therefore, all the return of the matchday pageantry hasn't really impacted me. I don't really watch MOTD anymore 'cos online highlights are faster and Jermaine Jenas is a pillock, so that's not changed. The summer seems to be more about transfers than football and that soap opera is still going. So yeah - all still surreal to me.

I've gotten into Kit Twitter. It's really interesting to hear designers talking about the process - the briefs, the challenges and a bit more about the mechanics of how the process works - including the economics of it after the whole "Messi pays for himself" shpiel - spoiler: he doesn't. Highly recommend falling down that rabbithole.

Meandering here. Let's look at what happened on matchday 1. 

The season kicked off in West London, inaugurating Brentford's new stadium and their return to the top flight for the first time in 200 years. My club believe in values, morals and being gracious guests, so we played our part in allowing them their party. You are welcome, Bees fans.

Moving onto the Bs, Brighton beat Brunley at Turf Moor. Easy home wins for Man Utd & Chelsea, less easy home wins for Everton, Leicester and Watford who had a bit of a squeaky bum time in injury time. Liverpool are up and running with a comfortable 3-0 win at Norwich and West Ham came from behind twice to continue their good form from last season at St James Park. 

Finally, a Spurs side missing Harry Kane for [insert reason] beat Man City - a team they seem to have a slight hoodoo over since they moved to their new stadium. Didn't watch the game as I have self respect but apparently it was a deserved victory so let's all thank Spurs for making Invincibles Day more likely this year. 

Let's get statty:

This week, 21 people played

Most popular predicted result: Leicester WIN (21/21)

Most disputed prediction: Burnley vs Brighton (8-6-7 split respectively)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels 2462/1

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 1418/1

Average odds: 1940/1

Best predictor: David Brickman (8/10) 0- someone wants their title back...

Worst predictors:3 of us (4/10)

Average score: 5.62/10

Everyone's scores:

No leaderboard until after Matchday 3....

To this week's predos:



Good luck all!

S11: 'Ere We Go

 Somebody needs to have a word with the Sun. Or Earth. Whoever's in charge of orbits and stuff. How is it already the eve of a new season? We've just done the last one. Then the Euros. Then the Olympics. And now we're all lined up in the tunnel waiting to go again.

A reminder of the rules for any new players:

• Predict the result (Home Win/Draw/Away Win) for each fixture
• 1 point per correct prediction
• Leaderboard = weekly average score for those who play >2/3 of available weeks
• That's basically it

There's a more detailed expansion here

So, let's ImpossibiliPreview - give me your season predictions which we'll pull out in May...

and Matchday 1 Predictions

Please share this widely - the more the merrier!

Good luck all!

S10: All Done

 And breathe.

Another season over

A bizarre one, and hopefully, the last season under COVID restrictions. Famous last words.

I don't know about you lot but I'm cream-crackered. The schedule. The compressed season. I haven't set foot inside a stadium for 15 months which I think is the longest period for well over 20 years. It's just all a bit surreal. I was thinking about this when the Arsenal players were bidding farewell to David Luiz on Sunday - 2 years at the club and he's probably played in front of the fans fewer than 10 times. He's probably played in front on Arsenal fans more for Chelsea than for Arsenal, in 2 years as a starting player. Just absolutely bizarre.

So I know it's over, and the medals are being given out, but it, and as previously chronicled on these e-pages, last season, just seem a bit....meh

Obviously if I were a Leicester fan, or a Villareal fan, I'd probably feel less meh. Whoever wins on Saturday will probably also be able to rise a smile. All in all, the beautiful game is a lot less beautiful when it's covered in SARS-CoV-2. Please desist from further pandemics. Many thanks

Let's get statty:

Matchday 36 (8 matches, pro-rated)

20 people played
Most popular predicted results: Spurs & Everton WINS (20/20)
Most disputed predicted result: Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa (4-8-8 split)

Highest odds/Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (108/1)
Average odds: You do the maths

Best predictor: Lawro (8.75/10)
Worst predictor: AFM (3.75/10)
Average score: 6.06/10

Best predicted result: Spurs WIN (20/20)
Worst predicted result: Sheff Utd WIN (0/20)

Matchday 37

15 people played
Most popular predicted results: Liverpool, Newcastle & Man Utd WINS (15/15)
Most disputed predicted result: Southampton vs Leeds (6-3-6 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (9775/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (318/1)
Average odds: 5047/1

Best predictors: Lawro, David Brickman & Feneley (7/10)
Worst predictor: Josh Daniels (4/10)
Average score: 5.53/10

Best predicted results: Newcastle & Liverpool WINS (15/15) 
Worst predicted result: Man utd vs Fulham DRAW (0/15)

Matchday 38

17 people played
Most popular predicted results: Liverpool & West Ham WINS (16/17)
Most disputed predicted result: Sheff Utd vs Burnley (5-3-9 split) 

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (533/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (533/1)
Average odds: Guess

Best predictors: Aron Kleiman, Josh Daniels, Nick Taylor-Collins (8/10)
Worst predictor: WhoScored.com (4/10)
Average score: 6.35/10

Best predicted results: Liverpool & West Ham WINS (16/17)
Worst predicted result: Aston Villa WIN (2/17)

Everyone's results:



To the FINAL Leaderboard

To qualify, you needed to have played >2/3 of matchweeks - or 25/36

So yet again, for the 4th time in 8 years, EuroClubIndex are the champions, beating out BBC darling, Lawro. Nathan Daniels snuck in in the last few weeks to take the top human player spot. David Graniewitz adrift by some distance at the bottom.

The secondary board for those who played, but didn't qualify for the main table. Just do better guys. Reminders on your phones etc. I've also really pretty much dropped Facebook - so please let me know if you want reminding by email/Twitter or to join the Impossibilitee WhatsApp group

Congrats to all involved.

I'm frankly exhausted, so radio silence from me over the summer. Enjoy the Euros if that's your bag & set your alarms for August.

Time for a sangria & a snooze

x

S10M36: Caught Up

 Let's just get to it. City win. Man Utd 2nd. Relegated are relegated. Weeks to get through

M32 (7 matches pro-rata)

20 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man Utd & Arsenal WIN  (20/20)
Most disputed predicted result: Leeds vs Liverpool (4-6-10 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels 84/1

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 84/1

Average odds: 84/1

Best predictor: 4 of you (5.71/10)
Worst predictor: Loads of us (2.86/10)

Average score: 4.07/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd WIN (20/20)
Worst predicted result: Arsenal vs Fulham DRAW (0/20)

M33 (8 matches pro-rata)

18 people played - 1 late entrant
Most popular predicted result: Leicester WIN (18/18)
Most disputed predicted result: West Ham vs Chelsea (7-5-5 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels 685/1

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 685/1

Average odds: 685/1

Best predictor: Rafi Kleiman (5/10)
Worst predictor: Loads (1.25/10)

Average score: 2.64/10

Best predicted result: Leicester WIN (18/18)
Worst predicted result: Everton WIN (1/18)

M34 (9 matches pro-rata)

20 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (20/20)
Most disputed predicted result: WBA vs Wolves (8-6-6 split respectively)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels 4429/1
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 4429/1

Average odds:  4429/1

Best predictor: Joe Abbott (7.78/10)
Worst predictor: Gaj Thiru (2.22/10)

Average score: 5.17/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (20/20)
Worst predicted result: Southampton vs Leicester DRAW (1/20)

M35

17 people played
Most popular predicted result: Leicester WIN (16/16* - 1 late entrant)
Most disputed predicted result: Wolves vs Brighton (7-4-6 split)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (3706/1)

Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (626/1)

Average odds: 2166/1

Best predictor: ECI (8/10)
Worst predictor: Gaj Thiru (3/10)

Average score: 5.47/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd WIN (16/17)
Worst predicted result: Newcastle WIN (0/17)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 23/33)

This week's predos:

Good luck all!

S10M35: Come friendly bombs

Ok, so I know I said I'd get the catch up blog in but there's a game this evening so here's the prediction form and let's try again later...

This week's predos:

Good Luck!

S10M34: Promises Promises

 Ok so nights followed a mad week, so the catch up blog will likely be over the weekend with TWO if not THREE sets of results.

The good news, however, is you miss my rambling on about the ESL debacle.

Everyone's a winner then

Quick predos post before I get back to the day job

Good luck all

S10M33: Nocturnal

 Placeholder as I'm on nights 

Results etc to be filled in tomorrow

Good luck all

S10M32: As SAF says

So what happened this week?

The weekend got off to a minor shock where the form books were inverted - Wolves beating Fulham doesn't sound shocking on paper, but was unexpected. Not as unexpected as Bielsa beating his disciple, 2-1 at the Etihad though!

Liverpool avenged their early season thrashing at the hands of Villa who passed the spanking paddle to Chelsea who put it to good use of Crystal Palace.

Then the goals started raining. West Ham went 3-0 AGAIN and again nearly threw it away, holding off Leicester to win 3-2. Spurs did throw it away - turning a 1-0 half time lead into a 3-1 defeat to Man Utd. Newcastle also came from behind to beat Burnley at Turf Moor -  a critical 3 points for them, whilst Arsenal comfortably beat Sheffield United who are as gone as it's possible to be without being done.

Another shock bookended the weekend - WBA thumping Southampton - is another later escape on the cards? Finally, Brighton & Everton played out a scoreless draw which is slightly more helpful to Brighton than the Toffees.

Let's get statty:

This week, 24 people played
Most disputed prediction: 

Most popular predicted result: Arsenal WIN (24/24)

Highest odds: Steven Daniels (4077/1)

Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (3107/1)

Average odds: 3727/1

Best predictor: AFM (7/10)

Worst predictors: David Brickman, Danny Hakimian & Gaj Thiru (3/10)

Average score: 4.46/10

Best predicted result: Fulham vs Wolves (8-7-9 split)

Worst predicted result: Leeds WIN (0/24)

Everyone's results

Leaderboard (>2/3 weeks, 20/29)

Eesh. It's got tense

To this week's predos. It's all complicated for the next 2 weeks due to cup football so will be pro-rata'd. Anyway:


Good luck!

S10M31: Found it!

Right. Business end now.

Home stretch.

Final countdown.

Somehow, in this bizarre season, we've sort of caught up. It's the beginning of April and we're about 6 weeks out from a normal season end, with 7 or 8 games to go. Very doable. Not quite sure what's happened to this season, or 2021 for that matter, but there you go.

Let's recap the last matchday.

The early kick off was that old favourite - a coupon buster from the off.

Chelsea have been in great form since replacing the PE teacher with an actual elite coach, and WBA have a Reepian disciple so obviously this was a foregone conclusion with the relegation-inevitable side battering the likely CL semi-finalists.

Yorkshire derby ended with a win for Bielsa against Sean Bean, whilst 2019 called as Liverpool and Man City both won comfortably. A huge comeback with for Southampton took all the points against Burnley, and Villa & Man Utd both came from behind to win as well. Agent Willock scored a late equaliser to hold Spurs to a draw up on the Toon. 

Everton & Palace drew apparently in a game I *literally* slept through and then West Ham did their best to throw away yet another 3 goal lead, but Wolves are no Arsenal. They should buy Lacazette for £50m from us.

Let's get statty:

This week, 26 people played
Most popular predicted results: Chelsea & Leeds WINS (26/26)
Most disputed prediction: Arsenal vs Liverpool (11-9-6 split)

Highest odds: Zoe Daniels (14,577/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (1920/1)
Average odds: 2031/1

Best predictor: Josh Brickman (7/10)
Worst predictor: Natan Kleiman (2/10)
Average score: 5/10

Best predicted result: Leeds WIN (26/26)
Worst predicted result: WBA WIN (0/26)

Everyone's scores:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 19/28)

To this week's predos:

 Good luck everyone!

S10M30/1: I dunno again

 No waffle

International break over

Football back. 

Vamos

Good luck all!

S10M30: Last Leg

 Here we go.

Spring is upon us. Birds are doing their thing. Flowers theirs. And the matchdays tick over to start with a 3...

Still loads to play for up and down the league. Obvious City have won. And obviously Sheffield Utd are very down. But lots of other stuff is up for grabs.

Let's start however in the North East where the Nobby Solano Derby ended all square, as did the Bamford reunion at Elland Rd. Crystal Palace incredibly won a game against the run of play, hugely irritating Sam Allardyce, so that'd nice. Burnley shocked the best team on Merseyside to record their second victory of the season in that city, whilst City recovered from their own unexpected defeat a week before to swat away Fulham. On the South coast, Brighton remembered that scoring is critical to winning, and hey presto, 3 points. No such qualms from Leicester who spanked the Blades 5-0. In the NLD, Arsenal deservedly beat the miserable excuse for an institution they share a region with and Man Utd & Liverpool also won.

Let's get statty:

This week 23 people played

Most popular predicted results: Leicester & Man City WINS (23/23)

Most disputed prediction: Arsenal vs Spurs (8-6-9 split)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (8497/1)

Lowest odds: Zoe Daniels (1176/1)

Average odds: 3228/1

Best predictor: Zoe Daniels (8/10)

Worst predictors: WSC, David Brickman & Danny Hakimian (3/10)

Average score: 4.81/10

Best predicted results: Leicester & Man City WINS (23/23)

Worst predicted result: Burnley WIN (0/23)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3 matchdays; 19/27)

No predictions this week as it's only a few rearranged games. Back after the international break

S10M29: Already?

Right. Here we go.

What happened last weekend? Well Arsenal were Arsenal. Sheffield United were Sheffield United. The Black Country was bleak. Brighton can't score which I'm told is a problem in football. Stripes = Stripes in West Brom which might also be the Balck Country. Idk. It's the North. Liverpool lost AGAIN at home for their worst ever run which means it's #KloppOut time. Another Man Utd 2-0 win to end a record breaking run saw Man City's clock reset to 0, although this time, less controversially. Spurs trundled on having found a new recipe for attacking play involving their on-loan simian and Chelsea have disappointingly started showing what a good squad can do when managed by a good manager instead of a godlike ex-pro with a chip on his shoulder the size of his ego. Somehow, West Ham also kept up their form to guarantee CL football or something. Mad scenes from the Moyesiah - maybe he'll take the reigns from Klopp in a few weeks?

Let's get statty:

This week, 19 people played

Most popular predicted results: Spurs & Arsenal WINS (17/17)

Most disputed predicted result: WBA vs Newcastle (5-7-7 split)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (6152/1)

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (1962/1)

Average odds: 4636/1

Best predictors: Nathan Daniels & Gaj Thiru (7/10)

Worst predictor: AFM (2/10)
Average score: 4.58/10

Best predicted result: Spurs WIN (17/19)

Worst predicted results: Man Utd WIN (0/19) 

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3 matches; 17/26)

This week's predos:

Good luck all

S10M28: Whoops

 So full disclosure, this week was my bad. 

I didn't think the midweek games were a matchday. I thought it was a few catch up games, but there were so many games that we could have had a round and it's been counted as M27. So that's on me....

Last weekend though. I was all over that

Man City trundled on inevitably, beating West Ham. WBA picked up a critical 3 points against fellow strugglers Brighton, whilst Villa also got a good away win at Elland Road. 2 draws at respective Parks - St James' & Selhurst, but convincing wins for both North London sides. Chelsea & Man Utd reached a stalemate, before in the last 2 games, both Merseyside clubs also got the win against stripey red & white clubs.

Let's get statty:

This week, 24 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (24/24)

Most disputed prediction: Chelsea vs Man Utd (7-10-7 split respectively)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (16,666/1)

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (1218/1)

Average odds: 8014/1

Best predictors: Nathan Daniels, Joe Abbott & David Silverman (7/10)

Worst predictor: David Graniewitz (2/10)

Average score: 5.21/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (24/24)

Worst predicted result: WBA WIN (2/24)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 17/25)

This week's predos:

Good luck all!

S10M26: 2/3 done

 Only the one week to write about so let's have a little chat...

That was fun eh?

Lets rewind to last Friday where Wolves beat Leeds courtesy of a horrible keeper og - one of those where is comes off the woodwork onto their prone body having dived to make the save. Shame. Southampton became the first side to halt the Tuchel Truck, drawing at the New Dell, an outcome also achieved in a bore draw between Burnley and WBA. Everton deservedly beat Liverpool at Anfield for the first time in a generation, with the hosts losing their 4th consecutive game at home. Fulham continued their good form against a woeful Sheff Utd side already resigned to relegation.

Sunday saw unsurprising wins for both Manchester clubs, a superb 10 minutes spell for Leicester earning them max points at Villa Park as well as an amusing West Ham win over Spurs. Of course, it's only amusing because of the relative histories - dare I say West Ham have played a very simple but effective game this season and will hope to qualify for Europe.

Finally, in the derby I've never understood, Brighton were absolutely robbed by a Crystal Palce team who had no possession, no chances and only 2 shots and still won the game. Poor Potter.

Let's get statty:

This week, 20 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man Utd WIN (20/20)

Most disputed prediction: Wolves vs Leeds (6-7-7 split)

Highest odds: Zoe Daniels (2806/1)

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (735/1)

Average odds: 1771/1

Best scorer: Gaj Thiru (6/10)

Worst scorer: David Brickman (2/10)

Average soccer: 4/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd WIN (20/20)

Worst predicted results: Everton & Crystal Palace WINS & Southampton vs Chelsea DRAW (1/20)

Everyone's scores

The leaderboard (>2/3 weeks; 17/24)

This week's predos:

Good luck all

S10M25: Coupon Buster

 Just the 6 weeks of results to get through this week...

All I'll say here is that there were some shocking results that nobody saw coming. None including Man City who are basically home free now

New style for mass results catch up - let me know is this is preferable and can do for regular weeks too...

Everyone's results:

Blue --> Green: M19-M24

Leaderboard (>2/3; 16/23)

This week's predos:

Good luck all!

S10M24: My kingdom for some annual leave

 Placeholder here.
Results to follow in full next week

This week's predos:

Good luck all

S10 M20-23: Why have Villa got 10 games in hand?

Basically I've worked out how to title the blogs now. We're going with Google's labelling of which Matchday it is.

Anyway, let's have little recap of the actual matchday, not the almost matchday of catch up games. Follow me? We have lost M18 somewhere in all this....

WBA got an improbable win in the Black Country derby. Burnley woes continued in the Claret derby. Their time will come.... Brighton similarly got an improbably away win in the battle of the BYTs (Bielsa is young at heart).

Chelsea won the West London derby, eventually, and Leicester and Spurs kept the pace on in the race for the Champions League. Man City joined them, but Liverpool's stuttering season kept on with yet more dropped points against minnows Man Utd, who are looking at their first title tilt in 8 years at the halfway stage. Arsenal comfortably beat Newcastle to round the matches off.

Let's get statty: (Pro-rata'd to 10, AV vs EFC postponed)

This week, 22 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (22/22)

Most disputed result: Leicester vs Southampton (16-6-0 split)

Highest odds: Dagmar Dvorak 1071/1

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (205/1)

Average odds: 760/1

Best predictors: Steven Daniels & Doron Salomon (7.78/10)

Worst predictor: AFM (4.44/1)

Average score: 6.36/10

Everyone's scores:

Leaderboard (>2/3 matchdays, 13/19)

There are also a LOT of games coming up, so in the interests of ensuring there are prediction forms available for you, here's the next 4 weeks 'cos I'm future proofing stuff.

M20

M21

M22

M23

Good luck all!

S10M18: COVID Chaos

 Right. 2021.

Absolutely no idea what's going on anymore. Games postponed for COVID being rearranged at the drop of the hat. FA Cup fixtures apparently being decided on the night. What happened to the magic of the cup etc?

Leaguewise, it's important to note that Liverpool are rubbish and winning a COVID infected league doesn't change any of that. Rubbish rubbish rubbish. Everyone else is rubbish too, but I think it's important to note that Liverpool are rubbish and Sadio Mane smells. 

Wow those vaccine side effects are potent...

To the predos:

Good luck all!

S10:M14-17 results catch up

 Well here we are back locked down and when we come out, not far short of the anniversary of the first lockdown, we'll have learnt a whole load about how this season's going to play out

We look to have a title race on our hands, along with an expanded franchise for European football. We're having our first Brexit transfer window, so prepare for [insert average English midfielder] to break the league record now. What a time to be alive.

Fortunately for you all, my melancholy is cut short by the need to get out 4 weeks of results so let's cut straight to the chase

Matchday 14

26 people played
Most popular prediction: Liverpool WIN (22/26)
Most disputed result:

Highest odds: Zoe Daniels (57818/1)
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (2794/1)
Average odds: 34,700/1

Best predictors: Loads of you (6/10)
Worst predictors: WSC & Zoe Daniels (2/10)
Average Score: 4.23/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool WIN (22/26)
Worst predicted result: Leicester WIN (2/26)

Matchday 15

21 people played
Most popular prediction: Man City WIN (21/21)
Most disputed result: Leicester vs Man Utd (5-5-11)

Highest odds: Zoe Daniels (10,079/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (1704/1)
Average odds: 4723/1

Best predictor: Davids Graniewitz & Silverman (7/10)
Worst predictors: Loads of you (2/10)
Average Score: 4.57/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (21/21)
Worst predicted result: Liverpool vs WBA DRAW (0/21)

Matchday 16 (pro-rata'd from 8 matchdays due to COVID postponements)

20 people played
Most popular prediction: Leeds WIN (18/20)
Most disputed result: Burnley vs Sheff Utd (11-7-2)

Highest odds: Aron Kleiman (2920/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (1115/1)
Average odds: 2018/1

Best predictor: ECI & me (7.5/10)
Worst predictor: Dagmar Dvorak (2.5/10)
Average Score: 4.94/10

Best predicted result: Leeds WIN (18/20)
Worst predicted result: Newcastle vs Liverpool DRAW (1/20 - Raffi Kleiman)

Matchday 17 (pro-rata'd from 9 matchdays due to COVID postponement)

20 people played
Most popular prediction: Arsenal WIN (19/20)
Most disputed result: Chelsea vs Man City (5-4-11)

Highest odds: Steven Dabiels (8298/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (2360/1)
Average odds: 5329/1

Best predictor: David Brickman & WSC (7.78/10)
Worst predictor: Steven Daniels (2.2210)
Average Score: 5.2/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (19/20)
Worst predicted result: Southampton WIN (1/20 - Josh Daniels)

Everyone's results:

To the Leaderboard (>2/3; 12/17)

No FA Cup game this year due to the need for a break, and also, to you know, finish up everything from the 2020 game.

Be back next week with League predo pod. 

Stay safe, stay away from people, wash your hands, wear a mask and get the vaccine if offered x