S5: Merry Month of April Super Mega Post

Hello everyone.

You'll all be glad to know that there's no chat this week.

I'll give you the results & stats from the last PL matchday & FA Cup round, and then all of the fixtures for April so at least they're posted and ready to be predicted on.

Basically, someone's been really selfish and decided to get married in the middle of the football season. However, that's common-selfish - you just miss one or 2 games. But this is special-selfish - it's in the USofA. Admittedly, they are both 'merican, so that's both 1) justfiable and 2) they have no idea football exists (or this blog for that matter) but still...

So that's me out of commission for a week because apparently America doesn't yet have internet access. Serves you guys right for revolting. Anyway, the bright minds here at Impossibilitee towers thought that as we're already going halfway around the world, we might as well make a holiday of it and before you know it - bang, there goes April. Your intrepid correspondent has learnt from previous holidays (see the Croatia fiasco in Season 1) and so now plans in advance for blog shizzle. So, fixtures will be up already, I'll try to update FB/email/Twitter/Whatsapp reminders as per usual, but otherwise all pitch in and help each other...no man is an island type stuff.

The benefit to this is that I'm trying to persuade Mrs Impossibilitee to see this:

Massive results catch-up to follow on my return...

Let's get statty:

Matchday 31:

This week, 26 people played

Most popular predicted result: Swansea WIN (25/26)

Most disputed result: Chelsea vs West Ham (8-9-9 split - you'd take that eh, Hammers)

Highest odds:  Zoe Daniels 46046/1

Lowest odds: Josh Daniels 5951/1 - He was the outlier this time

Average odds: 20875/1

Best predictors: 5 of you (6/10)

Worst predictor: Brad Allix - 2/10

Average score: 4.27/10

Best predicted result: Swansea WIN (25/26)

Worst predicted result: Norwich WIN (1/26) - AFM spots it again...

Swing: Fabregas's late penalty equaliser unfairly punished 9 of us.

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 21/30)

FA Cup results to follow as QF are incomplete.

OK - Time for all the predos. I'll put the date of the 1st match next to them so you can set yourself reminders to do them too...

Matchday 32 - April 2

Aston Villa vs Chelsea - CHELSEA

Arsenal vs Watford - ARSENAL

Bournemouth vs Man City - DRAW

Norwich vs Newcastle - NEWCASTLE

Stoke vs Swansea - STOKE

Sunderland vs WBA - DRAW

West Ham vs Crystal Palace - WEST HAM

Liverpool vs Spurs - SPURS

Leicester vs Southampton - DRAW

Man Utd vs Everton - MAN UTD

Matchday 33 - April 9

West Ham vs Arsenal - DRAW

Aston Villa vs Bournemouth - BOURNEMOUTH

Crystal Palace vs Norwich - CRYSTAL PALACE

Southampton vs Newcastle - SOUTHAMPTON

Swansea vs Chelsea - SWANSEA

Watford vs Everton - WATFORD

Man City vs WBA - MAN CITY

Sunderland vs Leicester - LEICESTER

Liverpool vs Stoke - LIVERPOOL

Spurs vs Man Utd - DRAW

Matchday 34 - April 16

Norwich vs Sunderland

Everton vs Southampton

Man Utd vs Aston Villa

Newcastle vs Swansea

WBA vs Watford

Chelsea vs Man City

Bournemouth vs Liverpool

Leicester vs West Ham

Arsenal vs Crystal Palace

Stoke vs Spurs

Matchday 35 - April 23

Aston Villa vs Southampton

Bournemouth vs Chelsea

Liverpool vs Newcastle

Man City vs Stoke 

Sunderland vs Arsenal

West Ham vs Crystal Palace

Leicester vs Swansea

Spurs vs WBA

FA Cup Semi Finals - April 23

Everton vs West Ham/Man United

Crystal Palace vs Watford

Matchday 36 - April 30

Swansea vs Liverpool

Everton vs Bournemouth

Newcastle vs Crystal Palace

Stoke vs Sunderland

Watford vs Aston Villa

WBA vs West Ham

Arsenal vs Norwich

Man Utd vs Leicester

Southampton vs Man City

Chelsea vs Spurs

Good luck guys - and remember to remind each other :D See you in May

S5M31: Runaway

You know it's gonna happen when the breaks fall your way. Offside laws be damned, Okazaki spectacularly keeps the Leicester train rolling. At some point, their inertia will be unstoppable. A 5 point lead over Spurs and a colossal 11 point lead to Arsenal in 3rd with 8 to play.....they're pulling away rather than being caught.

It's a little strange talking about the reduced programme, but Man City's dismal showing is emblematic of them as a team. Norwich are in horrible form themselves, but shut out a couple of billion pound's worth of talent to get a valuable and unexpected point. Meanwhile, the South coast revival continued, with a thumping 3-2 win for Bournemouth and an excellent win away at Stoke for Koeman's Southampton - I think he's going onto bigger things next year...maybe Man Utd if they come to their senses and forget about Mourinho

The week before - a cracker in the North London derby was followed up by an equally brilliant game at Goodison and an atrocious perfomance from a Newcastle side who clearly have had enough of Maclaren. He can have no complaints about the sacking - there is no excuse for a squad with that class to have had such an abysmal season.

Old news now. Let's get statty:

In M29, 27 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (27/27)
Most disputed result: Spurs vs Arsenal (9-10-8 split)

Highest odds:  Zoe Daniels 9642/1
Lowest odds: Feneley 1284/1
Average odds: 4513/1

Best predictor: AFM (8/10)
Worst predictor: Josh Daniels (1/10)
Average score: 3.89/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (27/27)
Worst predicted result: Chelsea vs Stoke DRAW (2/27)

Swing: That Diouf equaliser for Stoke (24 upset)

Everyone's scores:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 20/29)

This week's predos:

Everton vs Arsenal - DRAW
Chelsea vs West Ham - DRAW
Crystal Palace vs Leicester - LEICESTER
Watford vs Stoke - WATFORD
WBA vs Norwich - WBA
Swansea vs Aston Villa - SWANSEA
Newcastle vs Sunderland - NEWCASTLE
Southampton vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL
Man City vs Man Utd - MAN UTD
Spurs vs Bournemouth - SPURS

Good luck guys

FA Cup 4.6: Tarek's Tekkers

Some of you have started with the comments in your predictions - I'm a big fan of this interaction, even if I don't reply individually. It lets me get a little window into your lives, and therefore slowly allows me to leach onto your souls get to know you better, dear reader.

For example, Mr Najm decided to go all tactical this round to try and get himself into a cash worthy position, and boy did it pay off. He's only gone and bought himself a share of the lead. Booya.

Other comments have made comparisons between your odds and other events happening. I'm interested to see the degree of inventiveness and research in these analogies - keep them coming!

Footballingwise, the only unanimously predicted result - Arsenal to progress against Hull was also the only game needing a replay. Hubris from the Gunners? Or just a quirk of fate. Spurs managed to shed one competition from their workload, as did Man City in spectacular fashion. Both Reading & Man Utd continue their recent fairytale runs in the cup - yay for the underdog.

In the upcoming round, Reading are the only lower league team left, who face Crystal Palace in the Coppell Derby. Chelsea's season hinges on their game against Everton on the Sunday, whilst Arsenal welcome training ground neighbours Watford to the Emirates on Sunday. Periscope sales have gone up in Hertfordshire apparently... 

The round is completed with West Ham's trip to Old Trafford, and one of my favourite footballing memories comes back to me with that fixture - the Barthez failed psych out of Di Canio with the pretend offside claim. Superb.

Let's get statty:

Full house last round -  13 played

Most popular predicted result: Arsenal to progress (13/13)

Most disputed result: Reading vs WBA (7-6 split)

Best predictor: Tarek Najm (8/8)

Worst predictor: Joe Miller (3/8)

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (13/13)

Worst predicted result: Crystal Palace WIN 4/13

Everyone's results:

Round 6 predos:

Reading vs Crystal Palace: CRYSTAL PALACE

Everton vs Chelsea: CHELSEA

Arsenal vs Watford: ARSENAL

Man Utd vs West Ham: WEST HAM

Good luck guys. No PL game this week as too few fixtures to be fair.

S5M29: B'jesus said Paddy

Urgh. Sometimes this blog and you lot are a right chore. An albatross cross weighting me down and I don't care how mixed my metaphors are. You see, what I want to do this week is sit on my couch and watch TV whilst drinking alcohol at 11am. I'd like to fast forward time and I'd certainly like to change my neighbour, who whilst a great guy, is also a Spurs fan and so every time I see him, I want to hide behind a bin. Football makes people do strange things. I really don't want to relive football when writing this.

Leicester dropping points made it an intriguing Wednesday night. Spurs, Arsenal and Man City could squeeze the gap further and make a genuine 4 way title race a possibility once again. They all suck. Man Utd's new found momentum means they will be looking to secure automatic CL football now, having caught Man City and not being a million miles off Arsenal. Chelsea are back now, so that joke's worn thin.

Urgh urgh urgh.

Can't even drink as have to go to work shortly and it's frowned upon.

Urgh

Let's get statty:

This midweek, 23 people played
Most popular predicted result: Chelsea WIN (23/23)
Most disputed result: Liverpool vs Man City (5-8-10 split)

Highest odds: Sam Ruback 2855/1
Lowest odds: Zoe Daniels 2087/1
Average odds: 2382/1

Best predictor: Josh Gaon (7/10 - late season charge?)
Worst predictors: My mother, Yo Abbott, Zoe Daniels and Aron Kleiman (4/10)
Average score: 4.43/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (23/23)
Worst predicted result: Swansea WIN (0/23)

Swing: Gardner's equaliser for WBA - 19 left behind there.

Everyone's results:

The leaderboard (>2/3; 19/28)

Very tight at the top...

To this week's predos:

Spurs vs Arsenal - DRAW* 

Chelsea vs Stoke - CHELSEA

Everton vs West Ham - EVERTON

Man City vs Aston Villa - MAN CITY

Newcastle vs Bournemouth - NEWCASTLE

Southampton vs Sunderland - SUNDERLAND

Swansea vs Norwich - SWANSEA

Watford vs Leicester - DRAW

Crystal Palace vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

WBA vs Man Utd - MAN UTD

* Not really. Just can't say what I really think

Good luck guys