S4M6: Shafted late on

So this week was impressive in a 'well...didn't see that coming' way. A record 4 games where not a single one of us managed to correctly predict. Shambles. In fairness, at least from a personal perspective, if the games had finished at 80 minutes, I'd have done a whole lot better.

Specifically: Newcastle equalising, Southampton winning and Man City equalising. Also, Spurs lost in 74th minute. So no justice there. Obviously I meant "result at a suitably late time to cash out".

That said - the pain of the Man City equaliser was utterly overcome by the lush joy of the Chelsea twittersphere. One friend (particularly-gobby-chelsea-fan-type) got sent snapchat videos of the goal.  And replays. He told me to leave him alone 'cos he was hurting. Meh,

Also amusing, although somewhat expected these days, was the Man Utd second half implosion. Now, in all fairness, the second Leicester goal was a joke of a decision - however - that performance was Arsenal at St James' Park levels of incompetence (I should point out, also the victims of bent dodgy refereeing). I did get a tad excited with the Di Maria goal though, and Falcao's effort was also might sexy. So not all bad news.

In Man Utd related news, I'd like to share Doron's excitement in his predictions last week at being the highest scorer. That's what this game is all about - it's like the Make a Wish Foundation for shocking predictors. If you've been touched by this tale, and want to donate before Christmas (generously), then I accept cash, cheques, credit cards, stamps, postal orders, travellers cheques and assorted niknaks (rib'n'spicy obviously).

Too much chat. Let's get statty:

This week, 20 people played
The most popular predicted result: Everton WIN (20/20)
The most disputed result: Newcastle vs Hull (7-6-6 split)

Highest odds: Doron Salomon 7239/1
Lowest odds: Sam Ruback 1775/1
Average odds: 4924/1

Best predictor: Lawro & Joe Abbott (5/10)
Worst predictor: Steven Daniels & EuroClub Index (1/10)
Average score: 2.85/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (18/20)
Worst predicted results: West Ham, Leicester, WBA & Crystal Palace WINS (0/20)

Everyone's results:

Now to the leaderboard - >2/3 of weeks played gets you on here so it's 4/5 this week.

Bottom. Bloody bottom. For the first time ever. What in the name of Glenn Helder is going on there? Thankfully, Excel feels my pain and has ensured that for some reason, it doesn't put me bottom-bottom. As any good Scouser would say, next week's my week.

To those predictions:

Liverpool vs Everton - DRAW
Chelsea vs Aston Villa - CHELSEA
Crystal Palace vs Leicester - LEICESTER
Hull vs Man City - MAN CITY
Man Utd vs West Ham - MAN UTD
Southampton vs QPR - SOUTHAMPTON
Sunderland vs Swansea - DRAW
Arsenal vs Spurs - ARSENAL
WBA vs Burnley - WBA
Stoke vs Newcastle - STOKE

No odds just yet

Good luck guys!

S4M5: PL>International football

By the end of the early kick off, it became clear what a waste the last 2 weeks had been. I don't know why international football has a propensity to be dull - I assume it's a natural caution due to the lack of time to form a cohesive squad - but that can't be true for all teams. Anyway, the game at the Emirates was bloody brilliant, even if the result was ultimately unsatisfying for both sets of fans.

A great day followed - another stormer of a game at the Bridge, some great goals in Southampton and shock away wins in Liverpool and Stoke. Harry Kane lol'd it up to ruin everyone's day here, WBA continued their miserable 2 months, and Burnley scraped a draw from the jaws of victory in the relegation favourites clash at Selhurst Park. Man Utd finally played well for the first time in a decade - although Pinner U14s could get at least a score draw against QPR, before another great game to close the Matchday off between Mo Diame's past & present employers.

All in all thoroughly enjoyable. More please this week.

Let's get statty:

This week, 23 people played
The most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (23/23)
Most disputed result: Arsenal vs Man City (11-5-6 split)

Highest odds: AFM 43,247/1 (yeah...thats forty-three thousand...)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 438/1
Average odds: 9882/1 (3208/1 if you exclude our anomaly)

Best scorer: Doron Salomon (7/10)
Lowest score: AFM (1/10 - even she couldn't see Newcastle getting anything) (I shouldn't "even she" anything - wait till the table)
Average score: 4.45/10

Best predicted score: Chelsea WIN (22/23)
Worst predicted result: Aston Villa WIN (0/23)

Everyone's results:

To the table, for those who've played >2/3 of games (so 3/4 this week):

In summary: big range, lots of movement, early days yet.

This week's predos:

QPR vs Stoke - DRAW

Aston Villa vs Arsenal - ARSENAL

Burnley vs Sunderland -  SUNDERLAND

Newcastle vs Hull - HULL

Swansea vs Southampton - DRAW 

West Ham vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

Leicester vs Man Utd - MAN UTD

Spurs vs WBA - SPURS

Everton vs Crystal Palace - EVERTON 

Man City vs Chelsea - CHELSEA

Total odds: 3548/1 (PaddyPower)

Good luck guys.

S4M4: The first table

Howdy folks.

How was the break? Go anywhere nice? Switzerland perhaps? Seemed like a good enough performance, although I was sort of focussed elsewhere so only really looked up when Clive Tyldesley got all excited. So, every 2 minutes then.

Anyway, I'm pleased for Roy and the rest of the squad that they had a nice break and got an opportunity to stock up on Toblerone and Emmental. I've just done a whole mental thing where I thought how great a international footballer's single malt collection must be given the opportunities to pass through duty-free - but then realised that 1) they probably don't really give a hoot about saving a few pounds, 2) probably can't drink regularly anyway and 3) go through duty-free so often that it's less of a thing. So I've dropped that thought.

Welbz did wel (see what I did there? Can't learn that at journalism school, unless you take Headline Writing  in the Sun 101. Er..yeah) scoring a brace to secure a win in the hardest game on paper. This is fortunate, because him scoring allows me to segue seamlessly in the TDD shenanigans. To return to the flat-topped one, I owe a personal apology to him as I was a bit neggy about him coming to a big club. I think it was probably misplaced frustration at the lack of defensive signings - so Danny, feel free to pop round and have a duty-free purchase at me. Just the one mind - need you match fit. Hull also had a good TDD with some very exotic talent arriving on the North Sea coast. Some Scouse bloke waited hours with a purple sex-toy just to assault a missionary from the Book of Jim White (matching ties....nice), which, whilst a bit childish, at least beat the blow up dolls seen elsewhere. I also have to admit to chuckling at the balaclaved people with a coordinated campaign to explete on TV. It's not big, and it's not clever - but I like puerile stuff so bum, willy, poo & fart. Hopefully, Sky will now end the TDD extravaganza and we can just report signings like normal people. Fat bloody chance.

It would be remiss to not talk briefly about Falcao - who has given up Monte Carlo for Manchester. Literally insane. It's gonna cost Utd a fortune, and more next summer if the reported purchase price is true - but the lad will score goals, if he can stay fit. Assuming his knees, and those of RVP don't explode, that's now a ridiculous front line, assisted by Di Maria, Herrera and Mata, with a maximum of 47 games to play. Bold statement - LvG going full Kevin Keegan though, with Smalling, Jones & Evans at the back for the whole season.

Which leads to the football from the last matchday (I'm on segue fire today). Somehow, Utd contrived to still not win a game, and apparently could have lost the point they did gain. City got battered 1-0 at home, whilst Arsenal dropped points to Leicester. Spurs continued their new found tradition of rolling over for Liverpool, whilst QPR gained their first PL win. Games of the round were at St James' Park, where a last minute Zaha equaliser ruined many people's betting slips/predos and at Goodison where both teams decided to play rush-goalies or something. Not a clue how that game (on paper) became a 6-3!

Finally - I know I can't read graphs, thanks for pointing this out repeatedly. They're actually pretty hard, and I've given away my GCSE CGP book, so yeah. Feneley gets a bonus Impossibilipoint for his honesty (non-transferable, actual value 0.0001 point) and the records are updated accordingly.

'Nuff chat - let's get statty:

This week, 23 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (23/23)
Most disputed result: Spurs vs Liverpool (5-7-11 split)

Highest odds: Mrs Feneley - 8019/1
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels - 1467/1
Average odds: 3706/1

Best Predictors: FinkTank, Chernick and Charlie Rawson (6/1)
Worst Predictor: Me (1/10)
Average score: 3.55/10

Best predicted result: Swansea WIN (20/23)
Worst predicted result: Stoke WIN (0/23)

Everyone's results:

And now, the unveiling of the leaderboard for the first time this season. To recap for our newbies, the leaderboard only shows those who have played >2/3 of games to avoid small sample bias (ie 1 good week and then never playing again). So, for this week, it's only showing those who have played all 3 weeks.

Josh Gaon in top spot - clearly he's forgotten which trophy he's playing for, joint with Mrs Feneley, yes, her of the ridiculous odds. Perennial conservators Charlie Rawson & Steven Daniels make up the top 4, along with Jonny Chernick who's had a great start. Fink Tank leads the pros, equal with Josh Daniels who has a nosebleed from being this high up the table. Down at the bottom, James Tobias is reaping the bad karma sowed from his macabre bullying of me a few weeks ago, although to be fair, I'm not doing that much better.

Long way to go yet - let's get a human name on the trophy this year!

This week's predos:
Arsenal vs Man City - DRAW
Chelsea vs Swansea - CHELSEA
Crystal Palace vs Burnley - PALACE
Southampton vs Newcastle - SOUTHAMPTON
Stoke vs Leicester - STOKE
Sunderland vs Spurs - SPURS
WBA vs Everton - DRAW
Liverpool vs Aston Villa - LIVERPOOL
Man Utd vs QPR - MAN UTD (Like....seriously...enough already)
Hull vs West Ham - HULL

Total odds: 915/1

Good luck guys. Remember, if you want to receive immediate notification - we're trialling the Yo platform now - download on Android, iPhone, Windows & Blackberry and send a Yo to Impossibilitee to be added to the list!

Yo! Impossibilitee

Just a short post to let you know about a new techy thing we're trialling here at Impossibilitee Manor.

There exists an app for iPhone, Android, Amazon & Google store - it's called Yo.

Now, I'm told from various Silicon Valley ITKs that this is the next thing - and like a hipster to a unicycle, I'm all about the next big thing, before it's the next big thing. Or something.

Anyway - how it works is very simple - download Yo to your phone, search for 'Impossibilitee' and send me a 'Yo' - which is basically all this app does. I'll Yo you back, 'cos I'm friendly like that, but will in future send you a Yo whenever a new post goes up.

This means that you'll get a Yo push notification to your phone immediately when the new post is up - thus saving you from going via Facebook or Twitter. Apparently, I can also Yo you the link too...so it should make life easier and faster.

Anyway, I thought we'd give this a trial for a few weeks, so download Yo now and get in touch and let me know if you prefer this method. If you have already got Yo, just click here to subscribe.

I'll continue with FB & Twitter for the next few weeks too as a fall-back.

Results & Predos to follow next week when the PL is back. 

That is all.Have a good weekend