S5M8: Near-Normal Service Resumed

Well well well.

Man City at the lane. Easy banker there. Even Dzeko used to fill his boots. Oh.

That said, following from last week's rant about poor refereeing - let's turn our gaze this week to the chap(pette)s with the flags. I personally don't understand how they ever get any other than the most blatant offsides rights. To be able to spot a knee or toe an inch or 2 beyond the last man at 30m (vision), travelling at 15-20miles/hr, whilst focussing on the exact moment the ball is played forward (audial) with a cacophony of background noise would be quite tricky if it was an isolated task from a stationary position - a sort of hazard perception thing from the driving test here. To do with whilst you're running yourself, so with a kind of twisted side on view, and maybe a long pass to quickly switch the play, under floodlights on a rainy evening...well, I take my hat off to them for even volunteering for the job. This doesn't mean I have the same level of compassion when they've just flagged Walcott off again for the 8th time and we're 1-0 down and my view was the perfect one to comment on offside (behind the goal).

I'm not saying that offside calls are always impossible, but generally they do pretty well. And then you get Saturday. This Luddite mentally infuriates me. Sport is, as per the wishes of Baron de Coubertin, becoming faster, stronger and er, higher. My background allows me to comment with some certainty that the advances in muscle mass, growth and power, combined with the technological advances in kit/ball/boot/pitch manufacture are all much faster than the continuing evolution of the human eye & brain. That's before you throw the cheaty professional aspect in where people can 1) train all day and 2) do whatever they can to gain an advantage.

Officials are on a hiding to nothing and need help. Maybe that's an American football system of having 1 official per square metre of pitch. Maybe that's a review system for goals as per Rugby Union with tries (Is there any reason why....)? It's not going to ever catch everything, but with the amount of money involved at the elite level, we have to try and become as close to perfect as possible. From a disciplinary side, I'd like to see 2 things brought in - 1) TV monitors on the touchline for the 4th official (or create a 5th official in the stands away from the dugouts) in real time and 2) a citation committee as per rugby to award punishment within a range based on the offence itself and the previous history of the offender. It's ridiculous that this only happens with racist abuse, or if you bite someone. It's ridiculous that a leg breaker of a challenge is given the same punishment as a slap to the face that a 4 year old girl would be embarrassed at handing out, and especially if you've got form.

I get that the FA are a fusty old organisation tethered to change. I get that FIFA are actual the natural heirs to SPECTRE (excited to see that). But there's no reason why clubs couldn't experiment in their preseason tournaments, or at youth level, and the stuff that works....bring it up a tier.

Anyway, back to football. Alexis Sanchez is back and is just amazeballs. Daniel Sturridge is also back and my word, have Liverpool missed him. He seems to have the same muscular robustness as another previous pacey Liverpool striker from Cheshire. Just hope he'll be a better commentator in years to come. Man Utd go top for the first time post-Fergie with a resounding win over Ryman League Sunderland. Just give it up now lads. Swansea really have fallen away early this year, but a big win for the Saints who've also floundered so far,  a sentiment I could extend to Stoke. West Ham's late equaliser annoyed me, as I quite liked their invincible-away, village-at-home approach.

Jose's Geordie blues continue although I guess he'll be happy enough with a point given where the game was with 10 to play. Ramires. Woof. Watford decided to put on a full-size reconstruction of their Playoff defeat to Palace, which was a nice bit of culture for their fans, before Everton came from 2-0 down to win away at WBA. Finally, no more invincibles for another season. #isyouronegold

Let's get statty:

This week, 28 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man Utd WIN (27/28)
Most disputed result: Watford vs Crystal Palace (14-5-9 split)

Highest odds: AFM  18,788/1
Highest non-AFM odds: Doron Salomon 7326/1
Lowest odds: Joe Abbott 948/1
Average odds:  4834/1 (3432/1 without AFM)

Best predictors: Lawro & Ryan Wain (7/10). A boost for the city of Liverpool
Worst predictor: AFM 1/10. Even she couldn't not predict Man Utd beating Sunderland at home
Average score: 4.64/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd WIN (27/28)
Worst predicted result: Spurs WIN (1/28 - well done Hesham Zakai)

Swing: Tricky one, but van Dijk's near post header gave Southampton a lead they never relinquished, so I'm going with that. 16 had the draw.

Everyone's scores:

 

Leaderboard for those who've played >2/3 available games (5/7)

Major movement in the "champions league" spots, whilst at the bottom, Ryan Wain achieves his alltime highest position of not-bottom. Some clear daylight now, and he'll be looking to attack serial-trophy winner Josh Gaon who's having a bit of a transitional season.

To this week's predictions:

Crystal Palace vs WBA - CRYSTAL PALACE

Aston Villa vs Stoke - DRAW

Bournemouth vs Watford - WATFORD

Man City vs Newcastle - MAN CITY

Norwich vs Leicester - LEICESTER

Sunderland vs West Ham - WEST HAM

Chelsea vs Southampton - CHELSEA

Everton vs Liverpool - EVERTON

Arsenal vs Man Utd - ARSENAL

Swansea vs Spurs - SPURS

Total odds: 4607/1 (Paddypower)

Good luck guys.