S5M3: Sergi o' Love

Let's start with the obvious. Sergio Agüero is a ridiculously good footballer. He's like Alexis (and I love me some Alexis) but more deadly in front of goal. The payoff is that his hamstrings are made out of real appealable cheese, but watching him turn Terry et al into an entire circus of clowns in the first 20 minutes on Sunday stirred something inside me. He's been one of my favourite players in the league for many years now, and I genuinely think that he could stay fit, he'd be talked about in Messi/Ronaldo terms. He also seems to not be a total Terry Vulgaris, or even a semi-Jeremy Hunt in the way so many footballers seem to be. I reckon after the final whistle on Sunday, he went straight to the local Co-op (wants his money to go to a community, not an evil no-Ribena stocking corporation), bought a load of steaks, and then went to his local old-age home and put on the best Asado this side of the Rio Plate for orphans and widows. He seems that kind of a chap.

Man City then, eh? They've decided to win the league this year, and nobody's going to stop them. Nobody, except the Tinkerman, who has turned Leicester into a maelstrom of attacking verve and defensive,  er....well, they ain't playing catenaccio, that's for sure. Completing the 100% crew are the mutually uninspiring northern Red giants...each holding a pair of scrappy 1-0 wins. Everton, like Man City are rediscovering their form of 2 years ago, with a cracking result away at Southampton. Spurs spurs'd it up (1 striker, no defence, gonna be another cracker of a season at the Lane) and Sunderland are already relegated. They really are shocking, and any team who fails to beat them Home & Away needs to take a good look at themselves. Arsenal will now lose both games - wait and see.

In that vein, Gooner-bogey team Swansea also look quite tasty this year - I'd argue they're even more fairytaley than Bournemouth. Schteve still hasn't managed to eradicate the Carver cobwebs on the Newcastle training ground. A brief mention too for Aleksander Mitrovic, who I ummed & ah'd over getting into my FF team - couldn't afford him, but massively regret this, even though he would for sure be costing me points. He's a basket case in the spirit of former Geordie legend T. Ketsbaia, and I'm loving his work so far. Finally, Arsenal continued their streak of 2-1 victories over Crystal Palace, and Coquelin was lucky to stay on the pitch - none of his fouls were that bad, but when you've been warned, and warned again, and then warned once more.....well, I was expecting the worst.

I was wrong. The worst came the next day when newspaper subs tried to force the words "Coq" and "hard" into every single article. Kill me now.

Behind the scenes, I've also been busy here. You'll notice the top right tab now says "Reminders". If you click it, you'll see a short questionnaire that allows you to 1) let me know the best way to remind you and 2) tells you how to make sure you never miss a week & therefore guarantee you'll be on the leaderboard at season end. Bespoke service - you're very welcome.

The second thing is the launch of the new Impossibilitee Twitter account - @ImposAccyAccy. Annoyingly, some Twitterbot owns @Impossibilitee, and the hilariously punny @Impossibilitweet is too long. So yeah, separation of church & state and all that - you can still catch me at my personal twitter @ccdaniels65, although, be warned, I use Twitter in phases, tell terrible jokes and talk a load of nonsense. But you know that already...

Finally, welcome to our latest player, Dagmar. Yo Abbott's been spreading the Impossibiligospel I see. So here's the referral scheme: for every 5 new players you bring to the game who play a whole season, you get.....a signed (by me) photo of Mark Lawrenson. With Moustache. So...yeah, keep them coming...

Let's get statty:

This week, 29 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool WIN (26/29)
Most disputed result: Watford vs WBA (13-10-5 split)

Highest odds: Zoe Daniels (11077/1 - troll. Keep this up and you get your own line)
Lowest odds:  Sam Ruback (1100/1)
Average odds: 4395/1

Best predictor: Nick Jones (7/10)
Worst predictors: Andrew Feneley's Mum, Marc Salomon & Ryan Wain (2/10)
Average score: 4.64/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool WIN (26/29)
Worst predicted result: Everton WIN (0/29)

Swing: Mame Biram Diouf's equaliser for Stoke - 22 of us had Spurs to win.

Everyone's results:

The FinkTank failed to predict for the Friday night game - so probably lost a point as I'm pretty confident that mathematically, Man Utd would have been favourites to win. 

To this week's predictions:

Man Utd vs Newcastle - MAN UTD
Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa - CRYSTAL PALACE
Leicester vs Spurs - DRAW
Norwich vs Stoke - NORWICH
Sunderland vs Swansea - SWANSEA
West Ham vs Bournemouth - WEST HAM
WBA vs Chelsea - CHELSEA
Everton vs Man City - MAN CITY
Watford vs Southampton - WATFORD
Arsenal vs Liverpool - ARSENAL

Total odds: 1215/1 (PaddyPower)

So, that's it for this week. Remember, fill in the survey & do the predos. Good luck!