FA Cup Game: The Merry Month of May

Just a super quick post as I'm on nights this week, so results from the SF will follow over the weekend (likely with a combined final post).

Obviously just the one this week:

Arsenal vs Hull - ARSENAL

Good luck guys!

M37 Resuls + M38 Predos: Season 3 comes to a close

In the beginning, there was the Premier League. Many have speculated that there was a time that existed before then; a time not framed by shocking 90s graphics and suits and swooshy sound effects to go with instant replays - a time whispered in hushed tones as being "BS". Before Sky obviously.

3 years on from the creation of the world's first (but sadly, no longer only) accumulator accumulator, I think the football world has appreciated the size of the schism that has occurred. I've (vicariously through professionals much better at predicting than me) turned water into wine. I've made a rock spew out water. I've put fish in bread and called it a sandwich. This season - we've had perfect matchdays. I don't want to do an end of season review just yet - I think I'll wait for the end of the season for that, but it's been impressive in a number of ways.

A lot of "I"s. Might want to have a chat with someone about that ego.

In other news, Fulham & Cardiff shocked no-one by going down, and Sunderland essentially have confirmed Norwich's fate too. MoMo Al-Fayed (the shopkeeper) blames it on the removal of the MJ statue. Personally I think it's more related to the removal of a Senderos sized statue to sunnier climes. At the top, #Crystanbul was the top trending term worldwide (based on a sample size of my facebook and twitter) as Liverpool lost a 3 goal lead in the last 12 minutes to draw, leaving City the remarkably easy task of beating 11 Claret & Blue statues the next night. I reckon Pulis had a celebratory shower afterwards with the Palace boys. Urgh.

Chelsea are guaranteed 3rd, Arsenal 4th. Everton more or less 5th and Spurs & Man Utd are having a battle to see who can not have to travel to Eastern Europe on Channel 5 Thursdays next year. Elsewhere, Newcastle won a game for the first time since someone punched a horse or something, and some other stuff happened with team that are basically now irrelevant.

So basically...City need a point to win the title, Norwich need to overturn a -17 goal difference to leapfrog Sunderland. Against Laurent Koscielny. Having scored 28 goals all season. Yep. I've already ordered a commiseratory pack of Colman's mustard, Alan Partridge DVDs and Delia branded tissues from Waitrose to my old French teachers house. Pardon Msr Fenn.

'Nuff waffle. Let's get statty:

This week, 20 people played
Most predicted results: Chelsea & Arsenal WINS (20/20)
Most disputed result: Stoke vs Fulham (10-5-4 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniel 6585/1
Lowest odds: Sam Ruback 609/1
Average odds: 3530/1

Best predictor: Sam Ruback (6/10)
Worst predictor: Jonny Chernick (1/10)
Average score: 3.61/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (20/20)
Worst predicted result: Sunderland WIN & Chelsea vs Norwich DRAW (0/20). Well done to Doron who picked the draw at Selhurst Park too.

Everyone's scores:

To the leaderboard now, and it's really still all to play for. The title won't be in human hands for the second year running, but it'll see a 3rd name, for sure. Plenty of mini-battles going on throughout, but I think bottom place is now confirmed for Josh Daniels - hardly a surprise given his average odds generally read like the attendance figures at a Premier League game, as opposed to the non-league figures of everyone else.

So, for the last time this season, this week's predos:

Cardiff vs Chelsea - DRAW

Fulham vs Crystal Palace - PALACE

Hull vs Everton - EVERTON

Liverpool vs Newcastle - LIVERPOOL 

Man City vs West Ham - MAN CITY 

Norwich vs Arsenal - ARSENAL 

Southampton vs Man Utd - DRAW 

Sunderland vs Swansea - SUNDERLAND 

Spurs vs Aston Villa - SPURS 

WBA vs Stoke - DRAW

Total odds: 2355/1 (PaddyPower)

Good luck all.

M36 Results, M37 Predos: The pendulum swings East

Well....that was hardly unexpected. If you'd climbed a mountain in the Himalayas last week, and stopped to catch your breath at an indigenous Sherpa village full of Nepalese children named Tenzing, I'd have bet you a shiny rupee that even Tenzing's mum, a lady who spent her waking hours making delicious chhurpi to sell at the local market...even she would have known that Jose Mourinho was going to set his team out like that.

The question is...do you accept the bore-draw when it might open the door to your rivals, or play the pin, knowing you'll either make birdie or fly into the water hazard. I reckon Rodgers probably would have switched to the former as the game went on....but whilst definitely not trolling a Liverpool-supporting friend, I realised just how many times Steven Gerrard has made errors that have cost his team in big games...including against Chelsea just a few years ago when he let Drogba in. Zidane and Henry both profited from backpasses in 2004. The own goal in 2005's Carling Cup final. I'm sure I could go on. The highs contrast beautifully with the lows.

Impossibilitee - travel, food, mashed sports metaphors and historical trolling. I really spoil you guys.

In other news, City didn't pass up the chance to rub salt in Scouse wounds (their fast start no doubt related to the extra energy given by the result at Anfield as a wise old Robin mentioned). Sunderland left the bottom 3 for the first time since winning the cup in 1973 and Giggs won the most obvious win in history to leave 70,000 grown Mancunians* swooning at how nice a millionaire looked in a tailored suit. Er, what? Newcastle arrived in North London in body but not in spirit to more or less seal 4th place for Arsenal and Fulham pulled off the Great Escape, before being caught by the Nazis Hull and more or less executed relegated. Charlie Adam also managed to go a whole game against Spurs without killing someone, although it did require him not to play.

*(14 Mancunians and 69, 986 Shandy-drinker southerners) 

Basically...if City beat Everton then I reckon it's all over. I also reckon that the 3 who are in the relegation zone as it stands will be the 3 to go...2 of whom could be confirm this weekend too.

'Nuff guff, let's get statty.

This week, 23 people played

Most popular predicted results: Man Utd & Arsenal WINS (23/23)

Most disputed result: Stoke vs Spurs (8-8-7 split)

Highest odds: Doron 9971/1

Lowest odds: Feneley 1004/1

Average odds: 4824/1

Best predictor: FinkTank (8/10)

Worst predictor: Tarek, Steven D & Josh Gaon (3/10)

Average score: 5.52/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd & Arsenal WINS (23/23)

Worst predicted result: Fulham vs Hull DRAW (2/23)

Everyone's scores:

To the leaderboard for those who've played >2/3 of games (23/35):

The gap once again narrows at the top...exciting times...

To this week's predos:

West Ham vs Spurs - SPURS
Aston Villa vs Hull - ASTON VILLA
Man Utd vs Sunderland - DRAW
Newcastle vs Cardiff - DRAW
Stoke vs Fulham - FULHAM
Swansea vs Southampton - DRAW
Everton vs Man City - MAN CITY
Arsenal vs WBA - ARSENAL
Chelsea vs Norwich - CHELSEA
Crystal Palace vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

Total odds: 3698/1 (PaddyPower)

Good luck guys, see ya next week

M36: Is this where the title is won?

It's a rare thing to have genuine empathy for a football manager (and no, winning your umpteenth trophy on Football Manager doesn't count), but it happened to me this week. And of all the managers to choose...I had to empathise with David Moyes. Gutted.

You see, earlier this season, I too received my P45 from my football club. The similarities somewhat end there, but I know the shock that comes when your services are definitively no longer required, even though you've been expecting this news for quite some time. Of course, I was technically made redundant, and reasonably so given that I'd actually not set foot in the Emirates as a member of staff in over 2 years. So 1-0 me. Although Moyes has apparently £4.5-10m reasons to dispute that score.

I actually hate that argument, and made that point to (Liverpool supporter &) England Scrum Half Danny Care who invited others to mock the idea that Moyes should be pitied for failing so abjectly as a result of his payoff. I know it's ultimately banter, but for me, an elite athlete knows full well that financial windfall is no substitute for professional acclaim and Moyes will likely be devastated that he failed so spectacularly. It's not his fault that some ginger Americans and a bloke called Ed decided he was worth a hell of a lot more than he was worth, and in all honesty, once tapped up by Fergie, he couldn't really refuse the offer. Plus, you need Bendtnerian levels of self-belief to operate in that world, so he probably thought he would be a success - easy enough as it was on the outside to know that this particular experiment would end in failure in Stratford & Surrey, and mirth everywhere else.

Anyway, Giggsy's picking up the pieces for the rest of the season, and I for one hope he does really, really well. Like DiMatteo well, so they have to keep him on for the first half of next season and balls that up too. Speaking of ballsing stuff up, Sunderland managed to kill Chelsea's hopes of a title win, end Mourinho's unbeaten home record & really, really wind up the man who always sits next to Dr Eva Carneiro and smarms her with his Iberian smarm. She ain't interested buddy....

Liverpool won their nth game on the bounce and could as good as win the title this weekend if other results go their way. I would say it's unlikely, but they've been pretty hot at home, as have Palace who host Man City. Elsewhere...well, it's mainly quite dull, but Charlie Adam will likely have his biannual kick-a-Spurs-player game, so that's something to look forward to on MOTD.

'Nuff waffle. Let's get statty.

This week, 21 people played
Most popular predicted results: Spurs, Liverpool & Man City WINS (21/21)
Most disputed result: Everton vs Man Utd (8-7-6 split)

Highest odds: Doron (welcome back) 2706/1
Lowest odds: Me, 896/1
Average odds: 1386/1

Best predictor: Jonny Chernick (7/10)
Worst predictors: Charlie & Gaj (4/10)
Average score: 5.26/10

Best predicted results: Spurs, Liverpool & Man City WINS (21/21)
Worst predicted result: Sunderland WIN (0/21)

Everyone's results:

The leaderboard (23/34 weeks - 1 week was cancelled):

To this week's predos:

Southampton vs Everton - DRAW
Fulham vs Hull - FULHAM
Stoke vs Spurs - SPURS
Swansea vs Aston Villa - SWANSEA
WBA vs West Ham - DRAW
Man Utd vs Norwich - MAN UTD
Sunderland vs Cardiff - SUNDERLAND (and game of the season too....)
Liverpool vs Chelsea - DRAW
Crystal Palace vs Man City - MAN CITY
Arsenal vs Newcastle - ARSENAL

Total odds: 2355/1 (PaddyPower)

Good luck guys.

M26 (finally), M34 Results & M35 Predos

Back in January, there were a couple of fixtures that were postponed due to snow, so as you may recall, I delayed the results blog for that week. Those games were replayed in midweek, and by being played out of turn, took extra significance in the title race, the contest for 4th place and the relegation battle.

As we now know - it was a successful evening for the little guy. Everton's recent run was halted by Crystal Palace...themselves on a bit of a charge who are essentially safe for the first time in their history. Meanwhile in Manchester, a late Mannone error turned a superb Sunderland result into a thoroughly valuable point, whilst taking all the wind out of Man City's sails. Advantage Liverpool.

M26 results:

19 people played
Most predicted result: Man City WIN (19/19)
Most disputed result: Hull vs Southampton & Newcastle vs Spurs (3-7-9 & 3-9-7 respectively)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels, 8152/1
Lowest odds: Me, 1151/1
Average odds: 3333/1

Best predictor: Gaj Thiru (7/10)
Worst predictor: 5 of yous (2/10)
Average score:  3.53/10

Everyone's scores:

and to M34...hurdle overcome by Liverpool on an emotional day for everyone involved. They rode their luck somewhat, but it looks like Chelsea's trip to Anfield will determine who become this season's champions. All other games were like a George Graham wet dream (sorrryyyyyy) with Cardiff pulling off a shock win at Southampton to keep their flame of hope flickering - sorry boys, that one's over....and Fulham grabbing a vital win to really stick Norwich in it. Finally, a brilliant game at the Hawthorns saw Spurs come back from 3-0 down to take a point, with the what-if factor being a poor penalty from Lance Corporal Adebayor.

This week, 21 people played
Most predicted result: Everton & Southampton WINS (20/21)
Most disputed result: Liverpool vs Man City (9-7-5)

Highest odds: Feneley 2889/1
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 369/1
Average odds: 1031/1

Best predictor: Doron Salomon (8/9)
Worst predictor: Gaj Thiru (3/9)
Average score: 5.52/9

Best predicted result: Everton WIN (20/21)
Worst predicted result: Cardiff WIN (0/21)

Everyone's results:

To the leaderboard:

Unbelievable Jeff! A new leader after all this time...a Liverpool-esque charge. Also, a couple of family rivals take a twist too....with 4 weeks to play...let's see how these pan out.

To this week's predos:

Spurs vs Fulham - SPURS
Aston Villa vs Southampton - SOUTHAMPTON
Cardiff vs Stoke - CARDIFF
Newcastle vs Swansea - NEWCASTLE
West Ham vs Crystal Palace - CRYSTAL PALACE
Chelsea vs Sunderland - CHELSEA
Norwich vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL
Hull vs Arsenal - ARSENAL
Everton vs Man Utd - DRAW
Man City vs WBA - MAN CITY

Total odds: 896/1 (PaddyPower)

Good luck guys!

M33 Results, M34 & FA Cup SF Predos

A lot to get through this week, so no preamble, other than to say I reckon Liverpool will drop points against Man City & Chelsea, and Everton will drop points against Manchesters City & United, so I expect the top 4 to stay the same, although the order to change. At the bottom, Cardiff and Sunderland are doomed, and it's winner takes all from Fulham vs Norwich, especially if the winner is Fulham.

Let's get statty:

This week, 23 people played
Most popular predicted result: Chelsea, Man City & Spurs WINS (23/23)
Most disputed result: Hull vs Swansea (9-8-6 split)

Highest odds: Sam Ruback 10,032/1
Lowest odds: Me, 767/1
Average odds: 1400/1

Best predictors: EuroClub Index, WhoScored.com, Fink Tank, Doron Salomon, Steven Daniels, Adrian Daniels (7/10)
Worst predictors: Andrew Feneley & Sam Ruback (4/10)
Average score: 5.76/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea, Man City & Spurs WINS (23/23)
Worst predicted result: Fulham & WBA WINS (2/23)

Everyone's results:

Leaderboard - qualifying number is 22/32 weeks (>2/3)

To turn to all things FA Cup:

Due to replays confusing the rounds, it's been difficult to decide when to update the FA Cup graphs. Therefore, I've decided that since everything's now up to date, and there can be no further replays, I'll publish a full chart now.

So, no real breakdown in terms of shock results etc, but a graph of everyone's scores for each round and then, obviously, their overall score:

The Gaon love affair with the old queen of English football continues, and by my reckoning, he's guaranteed himself some money already. How much, and who else joins him is still very open.

To that end, the semi-final predictions:

Wigan vs Arsenal - ARSENAL

Hull vs Sheffield Utd - HULL

And this week's Premier League games:

Crystal Palace vs Aston Villa - PALACE

Fulham vs Norwich - FULHAM

Southampton vs Cardiff - SOUTHAMPTON

Stoke vs Newcastle - STOKE

Sunderland vs Everton - EVERTON

WBA vs Spurs - SPURS

Liverpool vs Man City - MAN CITY

Swansea vs Chelsea - CHELSEA

Arsenal vs West Ham - ARSENAL

Total odds: 443/1 (PaddyPower)

Finally, we've now started the new Tax year and whilst cleaning up the Impossibilitee books, my auditors have found that there are a few payments still outstanding. Can those (and you know who you are) who elected to pay (and have not yet done so)  for the PL game please pay their £10, and those who are playing the FA Cup game pay their £3 - the easiest way is paypal (ccdaniels65@gmail.com) but if this won't work for you, contact me directly and we can sort out another method. I'd rather not chase people as it's less Corinthian than I'd hoped this blog would be so if you opted in earlier in the season, please honour that now.

Good luck folks, and I'll see you all next week, assuming I haven't hung myself with a Wigan-shaped noose.

M32 Results, M33 Predos - Viva John Terry, Viva Flamini, Mersey Merriment

As a rule, it's pretty bad form to dole it out and refuse to take it back. At the end of the day, it's just a game and people can take it too far.

That said, anyone who doesn't find this image funny is either 1) Jose Mourinho, 2) a member of the Bridge Terry family or 3) both.

#

I'll freely admit my dislike of Chelsea. It's not to do with the money - I have nothing against Man City, PSG or anyone else like that. Sure, I'd like to see a more equal footing, but that's as subjective as it is 'Corinthian' - my club has benefited from 20+ years of Premier League money so compared to say, Wrexham, I've got nothing to moan about.

It's not even to do with pantomime villain Moaninho or  His Royal Cashleyness. It's mainly due to the imbecilic Dzhonny-come-latelies who wouldn't know Kerry Dixon from Lee Dizon, or Emile Zola from Gianfranco Zola. Those who have, in less than 10 years, become worse than the worst Man Utd or Liverpool supporter for the whinging and moaning. It's also to do with JT (Captain, Leader, Utter Mug) being a FKW. 

Anyway, I digress. I just had to write all that as I might have glossed over a rather good performance by them a few weeks ago due to some technological issues. But John Terry once ran over a puppy so it  was just karma.

The rather unexpected result in SouthEast London means that the title race really is a 3 way fight (although City are still my favourites, as they have been all season; I ain't no Robbie Savage) with Liverpool taking top place after requiring only 90 seconds to defeat Spurs on Sunday. The Moyesiah faced down his aerial critics with a comfortable win, followed up by a decent showing against FC Bayern Munchen. Everton continued their quest to sneak into 4th spot (hopefully that'll be put to bed this weekend), whilst Southampton thanked Newcastle for driving the length of the country (probably flew) with a shpanking. J-Rod done good, whilst that Lallana lad looks nailed on to spend his summer taking Samba classes from natives, once he sorts his hair out.

The best moment of the weekend however, was the chest bump between Solksjaer and his assistant after the late equaliser to the late 'winner' - a moment so brilliant even Pepe Mel came over to congratulate him. Never really understood the chest bump if I'm honest - doesn't seem like the kind of thing I'd do in the heat of the moment...but then I'm pretty sure I'd never whip my shirt off either. Or kick an advertising hoarding with joy. Weirdos.

'Nuff chat. Let's get statty.

This week, 17 people played
Most predicted result: Chelsea WIN (17/17)
Most disputed result: Arsenal vs Man City (3-4-10 split)

Highest odds: The Feneleys with a bacchanalian 12,652/1. Glad to see it takes drinking your bodyweight in Lincolnshire ale to knock my brother out of this spot.
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels, 344/1
Average odds: 3845/1 (1643/1 without the anomalous odds above)

Best predictor: Nathan Daniels (8/10)...perfect aside from the collective failures
Worst predictors: Josh Daniels & David Dinkin (4/10)
Average score: 5.88/10

Best predicted results: Everton & Liverpool WINS (16/17)
Worst predicted results: Crystal Palace & West Ham WINS (0/17)

Everyone's results:

And the leaderboard, for those who have playe 21/30 available weeks (I know we're on week 32....1 was ignored as too few matches played, 1 still is to be completed due to postponements):

Dinkin is the big loser, ceding his "Best Human" imaginary crown to Menachem who stays still as a result of his absence. In fact, too much standing still folks - I expect, nay, demand higher participation numbers this week. I'm also hugely impressed by the length of this tail, to abuse a cricketing term. Compared to season 1, the number of those now predicting >50% correctly is huge. Pats on the back all round.

To this week's predos:

Man City vs Southampton - MAN CITY

Hull vs Swansea - HULL

Cardiff vs Crystal Palace - DRAW

Newcastle vs Man Utd - MAN UTD

Aston Villa vs Fulham - ASTON VILLA

Norwich vs WBA - NORWICH

Chelsea vs Stoke - CHELSEA

Everton vs Arsenal - ARSENAL

West Ham vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

Spurs vs Sunderland - SPURS

Total odds: 767/1 (PaddyPower)

Grand National bonus: Rocky Creek/Battle Group - both good shouts for an each way bet

(Disclaimer on the above - I know the square root of bugger all about horseracing. I have, however, made money on each of the last 3 Grand Nationals. So there.)

1 final thought for today - one of us has done good this week. This website/game/community has inspired an app (only available on iPhone currently) - Fooguru. If you have an iPhone - download the free app, and let's get an Impossibilitee league set up there for the World Cup. Unfortuantely, sucking up in this fashion does not get you bonus points - however, if anyone else feels like creating something, then let's do it. I think a nice range of Impossibilitee memorabilia should do well on Ebay!

Good luck, folks