Right, first things first — sorry for ghosting. I know, I know… weeks without a post and you’ve been left fending for yourselves in the cruel, chaotic wilderness of football predictions. Honestly, I had every intention of sitting down, rattling out some words, but then life turned up like a two-footed tackle from behind. Work, family, random nonsense — all piled in like Burnley on a counter-attack, and suddenly writing about football felt about as doable as Allardyce taking a yoga class. So yeah, apologies for the radio silence. I haven’t stopped caring. I’ve just been knackered, distracted, and running around like a headless chicken who also somehow has three spreadsheets due by 5pm.
Still, we’re back. Or at least, I’m back. The blog didn’t die. It just had a little nap.
Now, about those four matchdays I’ve not written about… nah. Not happening. You’ll cope. If you desperately need a blow-by-blow recap of every misplaced pass and dodgy refereeing decision, then maybe I’ll set up a Patreon for the truly masochistic among you. You can pay me to rant at length while I slowly lose what’s left of my sanity. But for free? You’re getting the highlights going forward, not the DVD extras.
So, we'll skip ahead to this week's fixtures
The weekend kicks off with Liverpool vs Everton, aka the annual Merseyside street fight disguised as football — expect chaos, cards, and Slot veins bulging by minute 10. Brighton vs Spurs should be fun if you like one team passing triangles and the other sprinting like they’re late for last orders. Burnley vs Forest feels like the kind of match only their mums will watch, while West Ham vs Palace screams “1-1 and nobody happy.”
Wolves vs Leeds could be frantic — both allergic to control. Then the soap opera: Man United vs Chelsea, where two clubs spend like oil barons but defend like Sunday leaguers. Fulham vs Brentford is West London’s hipster derby, usually entertaining, usually chaotic.
Sunday brings Bournemouth vs Newcastle — Cherries scrappy, Toon explosive, could go either way. Sunderland vs Villa is a wild throwback; Villa should win but Sunderland at home will fancy their chances of ruining parlays nationwide. And then the heavyweight: Arsenal vs Man City. Title credentials, tactical chess, and at least one Guardiola meltdown about “the schedule.”
Strap in: someone’s season is about to implode, someone else will be “in crisis,” and VAR will still make it all unbearable.
