S14M3: Temporary Finality

Happy TDD everyone!

Hope you're wearing something yellow to celebrate. I forgot, so had to pinch a hi-vis vest off a bloke on the train platform just before the doors slammed shut. Last minute loan deal, no option to buy.

I jest of course. My sporting director is highly organised and so we completed all our business weeks ago. Sure, if there's a market opportunity, we might dabble but we think we have enough to achieve our aims and the boys are training well and focused on the weekend.

Great stuff when the script works for all areas of my life.

Last weekend was fun eh?

Last minute Brighton winner after a ridiculous offside to deny Man Utd the lead. Zirkzee just needs to play dead there. Bet Garnacho was fuming. He always seems slightly upset even on his good days. Crystal Palace's fantastic form at the end of the season has died a death after the summer, with a limp home defeat to West Ham. Hale End beat Leicester 2-1, City smashed Ipswich from behind - RoboHaaland fulling operational already. Notts Forest got a good away win at St Marys and Spurs thumped an Everton side already in mucho troubl-o. Arsenal managed to get away from Villa Park and their bogey team from last season with a robbed 3 points - Ollie Watkins really should have had a couple but them's the breaks kiddo. May Unai Emery forever mix up the salt and sugar when cooking, amen.

On Sunday, one of my favourite fixtures - the Eddie Howe derby - ended in a mental draw (oh hello VAR controversy, again....). I always like the geographically top-to-bottom match ups. Wolves and Chelsea also played out a mad one - basketball in the first half, Madueke flipped off a city and then scored a 15 min hat trick and yeah - a 6-2 win that will worry no future opponent of either team.

Liverpool won 2-0 at home to Brentford. I really need to remember to take Toney out my fantasy team. 

S14M2: Yellow Ball Weather

And just like that, the new season is now just the season. We're underway and in many ways, it's like nothing has changed.

Man Utd got a slightly fortunate win, Liverpool relied on Mo Salah to breakdown a very motivated newly promoted side and Arsenal cruised a bit without really sparkling on an opening day. Brighton were the surprise fun package in the post-de Zerbi era, spanking Everton 3-0 - my thinking for a solid, functional Everton to be solidly mid-table might need a little tweaking. Newcastle won at home after going down to 10 men for a "football" headbutt. More of a nuzzle, but it was enough for a red, in a way that a choke or a grope wasn't in North London....

Late goals at Forest saw a point gained, and at West Ham, an extra 2 heading back to Villa Park. Ivan Toney has been dropped (forever it seems) by Brentford, which royally screwed me for FPL, but Brentford didn't need him, beating Palace in the battle of South-ish London. Stretching geography but they'll do as rivals. In West West London, Chelsea dipped into their NFL size roster before doing what they usually do and playing Nico Jackson, who refused to score, City scored twice whilst missing several players and RoboHaaland taught the most irritating man in the PL a lesson about singing stupid songs with stupid hair when your stupid football can't back it up. 

Finally, Leicester's return to the PL has been pretty stormy, but in someways, it was as if they never left - Jamie Vardy downed a red bull and then scored, before engaging in some excellent trolling of the travelling fans. Never change Jamie.....

Let's get statty....

S14M1 + PSP: It starts, now

Hello! Welcome back old friends & hopefully hello new friends!

14th Season. Anyone who's been here since Day 1 needs to get a life. Weirdos.

Bit of a Mea Culpa. As is traditional, I take some time away from the football after the season ends. This sort of included the Euros until it didn't. So I'd started my review of the Pre-Season predos from S13, but then never went back to it. It will follow ASAP.

I'd then planned to do this blog whilst I was away but the WiFi was so awful in general, I gave up. Then I managed to delete what I'd already written. So here we go, better late than never.

The Technical Stuff

So - let's start with the formalities. If you've played before, skip this paragraph. If you haven't let me direct you to the Rules tab above. It's pretty simple. Each week, you choose which team you think will win the match, or whether you think it'll be a draw. Think Football Pools style for those of you over 60. Each corrrect prediction = 1 point. Scores are averaged out over the season in a leaderboard - best predictor at the end wins the coveted Impossibilitee trophy. Bylaw - if a matchweek has fewer than 7 games, we ignore it, if it has 7-9 games, it get's pro-rated. 

That's it. That's the game. For those who like a flutter and want to share their 10 match accumulator odds, there's an *optional* field to fill in.

We also have included a bunch of celebrity/tech-led predictors and models - just for fun and to benchmark yourself against. 

The Prizes

The MAIN prize is of course the coveted Impossibilitee trophy. Engraved and shiny, or at least it will be as soon as I find an engraver who havsnt put their prices up 300% since the last time a human won it. This is awarded to the player who tops the leaderboard, for which you need to have played >2/3 of available matchdays to qualify.

There is also a CASH PRIZE for the best human players. The total pot is £100 - to be split as follows

Best Human Player:  £70
2nd Best: £20
3rd Best: £10

The caveat - you have to play 31 weeks to qualify. That's >80% - so it'll be a real test of the best predictors over the course of the season.

There is no cost to enter, but donations to pay for my lunch are gratefully received. Cost of living and all.

The Predictions

Matchday 1:

Pre-Season Predos:

Finally - the more the merrier. So please - everyone, ask a friend to play. Last season we had 21 people in the leaderboard at the end of the season, up from 18. So, let's aim for 30 this season. I send reminders out via the WhatsApp group - so let me know if you want anyone else added - and set alarms and reminders yourself because, let's face it, there'll be at least one week where I forget. 

Good luck all!