S7M7: Brasso orders spike in Cheshire

Apologies for last week folks. That placeholder stayed there all alone, munching on a breadstick, refreshing a glass of tapwater whilst fending off progressively more pitying enquiries from wait staff as to whether they wanted to place their order.

Sorry babe. Something came up at work. Let's reschedule yeah? x

Er yeah. Great metaphors aside, it's all getting a bit tasty oop north. Guardiola has found his feet - they were being hidden by average full backs, but now unleashed, his City side are storming. Surprisingly enough, the other big spenders in the league & the city are also flying - Lukaku hasn't missed a beat stepping up whilst many of last year's cast have improved. A difficult performance at bogey team Southampton appears ominously like the cliched 'mark of Champions'. Liverpool managed to win, just about in a classic Liverpool performance at Leicester, where Vardy's rubbish penalty technique has finally been sussed. Everton also recovered somewhat to beat a Bournemouth side in real trouble at home. Burnley & Huddersfield did some War of the Roses reenactment or something 'cos they weren't playing elite level football amiright...

Wandering down south (I feel like a weatherman), to the taxpayer stadium, Spurs gave their annual charity to an awful side - hope of a comeback with 2 late goals and a red card for Aurier. The game also saw a significant milestone - Eriksen overtook Lord Bendtner as the all time top scoring Dane in the Premier League. Poor form from the Danish peon. Chelsea hammered a Stoke side who seem to have lost their identity - Morata sticking 3 fingers up at his critics. Watford will be happy with a late smash'n'grab from Wales with the Boy from Brazil grabbing the winner.

Late weekend games saw Brighton puncturing the Newcastle resurgence with a lovely goal from Hemed, who then decided to book a nice family break for a few weeks to celebrate, but work wouldn't give him the time off so what's a guy to do?

Arsenal beat WBA quite comfortably but admittedly some of that comfort comes from Tony Pulis' fury at the failure to award a penalty when Mustafi absolutely took Rodriguez out at 0-0. Oh well.

For what it's worth TP, there were at least 2 Arsenal pens not given and a red for Dawson that seemed to be ignored in your post-match interview, so yeah...gums be hushed son...

Let's get statty:

Matchday 5

This week 24 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man Utd, Man City, Liverpool & Spurs WINS (24/24)
Most disputed result: Crystal Palace vs Southampton (12-6-6 split)

Highest odds: Doron 3249/1
Lowest odds: Steven D 1261/1
Average odds: 2283/1

Best predictor: Tarek Najm 8/10
Worst predictor: Whoscored.com, Josh Daniels, Steven Daniels & Joni Kleiman (2/10)
Average score: 4/10

Best predicted result: Man Utd & Man City WINS (24/24)
Worst predicted result: Liverpool vs Burnley DRAW & Spurs vs  Swansea DRAW (0/24)


Matchday 6

This week 22 people played
Most popular predicted result: Arsenal & Man City WINS (22/22)
Most disputed result: Swansea vs Watford (10-6-6 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (840/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (376/1)
Average odds: 659/1

Best predictor: David Silverman & Aron Kleiman (9/10) - Tomer Hemed did for them both
Worst predictor: 4 of yous (5/10)
Average score: 7/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal & Man City WINS (22/22)
Worst predicted result: Burnley vs Huddersfield DRAW (4/22)

Everyone's results:

To the leaderboard (>2/3 weeks; 5/6)

 Storming from 2 players who don't routinely challenge at the top of the table.

This week's predos:

Huddersfield vs Spurs  - SPURS
Bournemouth vs Leicester - LEICESTER
Man Utd vs Crystal Palace - MAN UTD
Stoke vs Southampton - DRAW
WBA vs Watford - WATFORD
West Ham vs Swansea - SWANSEA
Chelsea vs Man City - MAN CITY
Arsenal vs Brighton - ARSENAL
Everton vs Burnley - EVERTON
Newcastle vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

Good luck guys

S7M6: Just a quickie

Just gonna leave a placeholder blog here for now.

Resutls & Blurb to follow

Matchday 6 predos:

West Ham vs Spurs - SPURS
Burnley vs Huddersfield - BURNLEY
Everton vs Bournemouth - EVERTON
Man City vs Crystal Palace - MAN CITY
Southampton vs Man Utd - MAN UTD
Swansea vs Watford - SWANSEA
Stoke vs Chelsea - CHELSEA
Leicester vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL
Brighton vs Newcastle - NEWCASTLE
Arsenal vs WBA - ARSENAL

Good luck guys

S7M5: The game's gone forwards

The attacking greats tend to take more of the plaudits - Pele, Maradonna, Cruijff et al certainly gain widespread plaudits - Maldini, Beckenbauer etc less so. (Plug here for Daniel Storey's Portrait of an Icon book with beautiful essays about loads of legends...£10 from each book goes to the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation - available here )

It's obvious why - goals are the currency of the game. They're emotive in a way that a great tackle or big defensive header aren't. As Maldini said, the best defenders don't even do things that get noticed. Defensive skillsets are a connoisseur's pleasure - whilst brilliant attacking play is a much more visceral thrill.

Recently, we've had MSN, BBC and now we've got NCM a Paris and the joy of whatever you want to call Man City's attacking unit. Jesus - both exclamatory and descriptive - Aguero, Silva, de Bruyne,  Sane, Sterling...it's a multi-talented multipronged approach to unpicking any team's defensive lock.

Liverpool, in fairness, were the perfect houseguests and decided not to even close their bedroom door. I think this metaphor is done. Like Liverpool were when Mane got revenge for Patrick Battiston

If you don't think that was a straight red, no questions asked, then you need you head examined. Was Mane entitled to go for the ball - yep. Was it reckless and dangerous - yep. Not mutually exclusive. 

Brighton, Newcastle and West Ham will be happy with their first wins. Watford's good form continued, whilst Chelsea & Spurs did as expected. Man Utd weren't quite there against Stoke whilst Palace & Bournemouth's struggles continued - Frank de Boer paying with his job already, which is frankly ridiculous. Surely after only 4 games where you've hardly backed the man's methods, you have to go all in and give the guy a chance?

Anyway, that's enough chat for 1 blog...let's get statty:

This week, 24 people played

Most popular predicted result: Arsenal WIN (23/24)

Most disputed result: Brighton vs WBA (5-8-11 respectively)

Highest odds: Doron Salomon (6563/1) 

Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (2273/1)

Average odds: 4343/1

 

Best predictor: Fink Tank (8/10)

Worst predictors: Loads of you (3/10)

Average score: 4.63/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (23/24)

Worst predicted result: Stoke vs Man UTD DRAW (1/24) - well done WSC

Everyone's results:

 

To the leaderboard (>2/3 games played; this week: 3/4)

To this week's predos:

Bournemouth vs Brighton - BRIGHTON

Crystal Palace vs Southampton - CRYSTAL PALACE

Huddersfield vs Leicester - DRAW

Liverpool vs Burnley - LIVERPOOL

Newcastle vs Stoke - NEWCASTLE

Watford vs Man City - MAN CITY

WBA vs West Ham - WEST HAM

Spurs vs Swansea - SPURS

Chelsea vs Arsenal - DRAW*

Man Utd vs Everton - MAN UTD

Good luck guys

S7M4: Shankly was wrong

So I was super organised this week. Utilising the international break, I'd done all the stats in advance - which isn't something I normally do.

Prescient because earlier this week, the Impossibilibaby arrived weighing in at a decent 7.2 average footballs, making me the Impossibilidad. Which, I am reliably informed, is Spanish for Impossibilitee - ¡que bueno!

This means I'd have had no time to have done the stats, and so would have set a new record for being in arrears during the season.

No bueno.

Anyway, I'm vaguely aware of some international football having happened, and conveniently, don't need to talk about the Premier League football from 2 weeks ago as it's 1) ages ago, 2) I can't remember much outside of humiliation and 3) talked to death. As has TDD.

So it's a results only post, with predos to follow:

Matchday 3

25 people played
Most popular predicted results: Man City & Man Utd WINS (25/25)
Most disputed result: Huddersfield vs Southampton (8-10-7 split)

Highest odds: AFM 2856/1
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 532/1
Average odds: 1413/1

Best predictors: WhoScored.Com, Matt Abbott, Josh Gaon & Aron Kleiman (6/10)
Worst predictor: Loads. (3/10)
Average score: 4.32/10

Best predicted results: Man City & Man Utd WINS (25/25)
Worst predicted results: Swansea WIN, Watford vs Brighton & Spurs vs Burnley DRAW (1/25 - WSC, Tarek Najm & Josh Gaon respectively)

Everyone's scores:

The first leaderboard of the new season - to qualify you have to have played in >2/3 of available games (ie 3/3 so far)

Very early door yet, so no need for complacency or depression

This week's predos:

Man City vs Liverpool - MAN CITY

Arsenal vs Bournemouth - ARSENAL

Brighton vs WBA - WBA

Everton vs Spurs - SPURS

Leicester vs Chelsea - CHELSEA

Southampton vs Watford - WATFORD

Stoke vs Man Utd - MAN UTD

Burnley vs Crystal Palace - BURNLEY

Swansea vs Newcastle - SWANSEA

West Ham vs Huddersfield - DRAW

Good luck guys!

S7M3: Please check around you for your nearest exit

The problem* with drugs, kids, is the comedown.

The build up is great, excitement, anticipation. The high is well...a high. But then it all comes crashing down around you. These are of course abstract musings, and have nothing whatsoever to do with the natural trajectory of being an Arsenal fan.

No Siree...

So what happened this week?

Well Jose's 2nd season thing is going well. If he keeps this up, without Joseploding, then they will win the league with 114 points and 152 goals scored, against 0 goals conceded. That would be very impressive. For anyone who's interested, I'll offer very good odds against that so form an orderly queue...

Bournemouth are having a tough 2nd season. The backline is porous, the offence misfiring. It doesn't equate to a happy ending, so Howe needs to find some solutions before the pressure starts building. Tony Pulis maintains his 100% record and is now 15% of the way to shutting down for the season.

Leicester are doing well - they've seemingly weathered the Mahrez storm - well really it was more of a tempest. Not in any way sorry for that. Whilst West Ham continue their woeful start - they've had to be away from East London due to the the terms of their lease on OUR Olympic Stadium that they've thieved from future generations so boo ho to them.

Huddersfield are the promoted club most enjoying life in the Premier League - the only team to win all of their PL games in history. Klopplite is getting quite the fanclub up in Yorkshire. Newcastle & Brighton - struggling so far, although one fan base are taking it better than another.

Spurs' first "home" game at Wembley was a cracker, with 90s children's TV star, Zack Morris scoring 2 great goals to make Spurs feel truly at home in their new surroundings. Posts were struck, Morata & Batshuyi brought potted plants or something, but Conte's uomini took home all 3 points.

Marcus Alonso in his High School Yearbook

Another piece of nostalgia came in Manchester where Wazza continued his Roy of the Rovers return to Everton, scoring again at City. He then celebrated in the same spot where he had famously done so all those years ago...spawning excellent crowd analysis images on Twitter where we can see the evolution of the City fans in the same seats. I enjoyed that, long may it continue.

*There may be other problems. I dunno. Ask a doctor.

Let's get statty:

This week, 26 people played
Most popular predicted results: Leicester & Man City WINS (26/26)
Most disputed result: Huddersfield vs Newcastle (12-6-8 split)

Highest odds: Feneley 3517/1
Lowest odds: Doron Salomon 614/1
Average odds: 1795/1

Best predictor: Steven Daniels 6/10
Worst predictor: JT 2/10
Average score: 4.35/10

Best predicted result: Leicester WIN (26/26)
Worst predicted result: Stoke WIN & Man City vs Everton DRAW (0/26)

Everyone's results:

Matchday 3 predos:

Bournemouth vs Man City - MAN CITY

Crystal Palace vs Swansea - CRYSTAL PALACE

Huddersfield vs Southampton - DRAW

Newcastle vs West Ham - WEST HAM

Watford vs Brighton - WATFORD

Man Utd vs Leicester - MAN UTD

Chelsea vs Everton - CHELSEA

WBA vs Stoke - WBA

Liverpool vs Arsenal - DRAW

Spurs vs Burnley - SPURS

Good luck guys

S7M2: The only way is...

Damn did I miss that.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all the other cliches, but there is no feeling quite like the countdown to the first whistle being blown in a season. Pristine grass, stadium bursting physically and spiritually, new players, managers and kits, and for most....hope.

This season, for the first time, the season kicked off under floodlights and took a record-equalling 94 seconds to get going. The breathless pace continued through to a late win for the Arsenal, keeping the rebellion under wraps for another week at least.

Liverpool were next up and showed that defending was low on the priorities list for teams during preseason. Anfielditis - the disease that only allows you to move forwards.

Chelsea then took the baton and promptly used it to bludgeon themselves in the face, or more accurately bludgeon Burnley players in the legs. Twice. Huddersfield ruined F. de Boer's arrival on these shores to go top of the league, and the Wazza fairytale was completed, scoring the winner on debut again at Goodison Park. I have nothing to say about the Southampton-Swansea game.

Things reverted back to a more normal place after that - a Pulis team scored off a set piece, a plucky promoted side played above themselves for 70 minutes before eventually being swatted away by the City juggernaut and Man Utd & Spurs won comfortably.

According to twitter, Man Utd will now win the league. They did look good, but it's fair to say that West Ham are not the most testing of sides, especially once you get in front. Let's see how things play out in the next few weeks.

So, for the first time this season, let's get statty:

This week 27 people played
Number of people screwed by Friday night games: 1 (FT)
Most popular predicted results: Chelsea & Man City WINS (27/27)
Most disputed result: WBA vs Bournemouth (13-9-5 split)

Highest odds: Andrew Feneley's Mum (711/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (84/1)
Average odds: 368/1 - very low scoring week

Best predictor: David Silverman (8/10)
Worst predictors: Loads of you (4/10)

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (27/27)
Worst predicted result: Burnley WIN (0/27)

Everyone's scores:

No leaderboard until Matchday 3 remember guys #oldskl

To this week's predos:

Swansea vs Man Utd - MAN UTD
Bournemouth vs Watford - BOURNEMOUTH
Burnley vs WBA - BURNLEY
Leicester vs Brighton - LEICESTER
Liverpool vs Crystal Palace - LIVERPOOL
Southampton vs West Ham - DRAW
Stoke vs Arsenal - ARSENAL
Huddersfield vs Newcastle - HUDDERSFIELD
Spurs vs Chelsea - SPURS
Man City vs Everton - MAN CITY

Good luck guys, keep publicising the blog - had a few new players joining this week!

S7M1: Time to start wearing

So here we go again folks.

The pre-season friendlies are done and dusted. Season previews abound wherever you care to watch. New shirts have been bought, with a big-money new signing (unless you're Spurs...) printed on the back. Sky, BT & season ticket subscriptions are paid for.

Season 7 starts, with 3 wins for real players and 3 wins for the algorithm-driven stuff. Will be see a title defended and a trend bucked? Who amongst us is going to classically overrate one the othe big sides, who have a shocker all season long, and which smaller side is going to overcome the odds and shine?

For what it's worth, I'm backing City for the league. More recruitment, more Pep time. Chelsea in a tizzy, Man Utd still strike me as too defensive and not inspiring enough and Liverpool, Spurs and Arsenal are all massively flawed. Everton might enter the Top 4 mix, but won't have the legs for a full challenge.

Relegation - it's hard to look past Huddersfield and Brighton. Steep learning curves lie ahead. Bizarre saying that - steep is a vertical adjective, and curve is a horizontal one, Unless you're doing a loop-the-loop, but then I don't think I'd describe that as a curve. My final tip to go down: Burnley. No real season there. Could be Swansea or Watford. West Ham would be funny too. But I just think Burnley have very little redeeming quality, and losing Keane will be a big blow.

So, if you're a returner, thanks for playing once again. If you have friends or family who'd be interested in joining in - point them this way. Let's see if we can get 30 regular players every week this year.

If you're new for this season, hello! I'll recap the rules below:

• Fixtures get released 48h in advance of the matchday bundle (ie the 1st game in the set) - or at least I try too
• Choose a Win-Draw-Win result - no need to give actual scores
• Let me know your predictions before the kick off of the 1st game. Late predictions score a 0 for any game to have kicked off, so even if you miss the Friday night game, you can still partake in the other 9 games.
• You can let me know however you want. My preference - comments below the blog, but you can email, text, tweet (@imposaccyaccy) or use any other means of communication.
• 1 point per correct result
• Reminder services are available via Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp. If you want to be included in one/all of these, let me know
• If you place a 10 match accumulator bet, let me have the odds. This is purely for the LOLZ.

It's really that simple. Free to play, set a reminder on your phone along with signing up to an "official" reminder and you're laughing.

Leaderboard comes out after 3 games, we only do a matchday if there are 7/10 games, trophy to be won for the winner of the leaderboard (eligibility criteria: Play >2/3 of matchdays).

Any questions - be in touch, or look at the tabs above.

So, to the 1st Matchday's predictions:

Arsenal vs Leicester - ARSENAL

Watford vs Liverpool - LIVERPOOL

Chelsea vs Burnley - CHELSEA

Crystal Palace vs Huddersfield - CRYSTAL PALACE

Everton vs Stoke - EVERTON

Southampton vs Swansea - DRAW

WBA vs Bournemouth - WBA

Brighton vs Man City - MAN CITY

Newcastle vs Spurs - SPURS

West Ham vs Man Utd - MAN UTD

Good luck guys. See you next week for a real 1st blog