S15M36: Hold on to your hats

 Can I start my saying that I both love everyone and also hate everyone? 

That's the human condition in a nutshell. Simultaneously capable of building complex mechanical glass doors and walking into them. Building and sending a spaceship to the moon('s orbit), but also thinking it's made of delicious cheese. We are walking contradictions capable, nay mandated, of holding contradictory opinions at the same time.

Why do I mention this? Because the BBC have for 2 weekends running written inane articles about footballing rivalry. I don't know who they think their audience is. Last week was about the Celtic/Hearts/Rangers tussle for the title in Scotland (now down to 2) and this week, about the North London feelings around the respective, but intertwined #goals for the rest of the season.

It's really simple and I don't quite understand why it takes thousands of words to say "I want what's best for my team and usually I want everyone else to have bad stuff, but temporarily, I'm willing for them to have good stuff so my lot can also have good stuff, but ideally we'd get the good stuff and they get the bad stuff".

See. Simple. Pithy. You can have that, BBC, for whatever the going rate is for the nonsense you churn out. Not really contradictory at all.

I'm just very touchy. Between the total lack of sleep and the emotional tumult of the last week weeks season  decade two decades, I just want good stuff in my journalism, my team and my sleep. 

Is that too much to ask?

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Let's get statty:

This week, 22 people played
Most popular predicted results: Leeds, Arsenal & Man City WINS (22/22)
Most disputed predicted result: Newcastle vs Brighton (4-10-8 split)



Highest odds: Josh Daniels (10, 514/1)
Lowest odds: Feneley (746/1)
Average odds: 4,783/1

Best predictors: Loads of us (6/10)
Worst predictor:Josh Daniels (2/10)
Average score: 4.55/10

Best predicted results: Leeds & Arsenal WINS (22/22)
Worst predicted results: Notts Forest WIN & Everton vs City DRAW (0/22 )

Everyone's score:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 24/35)

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To this week's predos:

Good luck all

S15M35: Ohgoditsmay

Hello. My name is Richard and I'm an addict. I think that's how it's supposed to go in the 12 steps. You recognised there's a problem and then go from there. And my problem has been blog publication. Specifically, the delay to.... So, what can I say. I've fixed myself. This week, I'm taking advantage of opportunity to get this thing written and published in good order, ready for the passive aggressive emojis from (runaway) leader Eli Daniels. Yeah, that's right, I see you. Here's the thing. It's quite busy here at Impossibilitee Towers. You think you're the only game in town. No siree. It's a tough economy and to pay the bills, this guy needs to crank the words all over town. Like a modern day Dickens I am. Little piece here and lil'Jonny gets to eat for another week. Long paper there and Lil' Jonny gets new clothes. So really what I'm saying is you ingrates should cough up some cash for this goodness and my onlyfans PATREON will open in.... No but seriously.

See what I did there. I'm trailing next season already with the return of FFL. For 6 weeks before he retakes the Chelsea job. Tough break for Liam. I'm sure he'll spend some time counting his money before posting something on LinkedIn. Anway, in the PL, what's news? Wolves and Burnley are officially gonzo. Hasta La Blackburn lads. Nott(s) Forest are probably safe after POUNDING Sunderland 5-0 at the Estadio da Luz. Nobody saw that coming. Though in fairness, nobody really saw Fulham winning at Villa either. People did see Arsenal winning with a new number from Nicky J. And Liverpool and Man Utd winning. So really it was back to the relegation battle and a great game of who wants it more as both gameclocks ticked into the 80s, West Ham wanted it more. Then Spurs wanted it equally, then Everton wanted it more than West Ham which meant Spurs went ahead of West Ham who decided that no, THEY wanted it the mostest and Callum Wilson bundled in the late winner causing grown men to blow bubbles at other grown men.

And this, folks, is why I don't usually write the blog at 2am...

S15M32: North Bank Run-in

Log on, think it'll just be a quick post-international/FA Cup break results blog but apparently it's a double. Soz.

Getting excited though eh? Many moons ago, I ran the London Marathon. I did not enjoy it (though you may still sponsor me). The absolute nadir was around miles 17-19 - meandering through the Isle of Dogs/Canary Wharf area was just soul-destroying. You know you've broken the back, but the loss of any visual landmark to focus your mind - or, ya know, the sun - just compounds the physiological screaming known as "the wall" which hit around this time. And then you emerge. The last few miles are a straight shoot BOMBING* it down the bank of the Thames, Big Ben getting bigger and bigger before you hang a right and do the last mile around the King's gaff and cross the line. I cannot describe the lift I got from that stretch. Cramping calves no longer quite so screamy. My black mood (towards everyone and anyone) disappeared and I bounded like a kangaroo** towards the Mall. I bring this up for no reason other than the footballing schedule has no further distractions.

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Let's get statty:

Matchday 30

This week, 18 people played
Most popular predicted result: Arsenal & Man City WINS (17/18)
Most disputed predicted result: Nott(s) Forest vs Fulham (7-4-7 split respectively)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (5,924/1)
Lowest odds: Feneley (411/1)
Average odds: 2,041/1

Best predictor: Co-Pilot (6/10)
Worst predictor: AFM (1/10)
Average score: 3/10

Best predicted result: Arsenal WIN (17/18)
Worst predicted result: Newcastle WIN, West Ham vs Man City, Brentford vs Wolves & Liverpool vs Spurs DRAWS (1/18 - Well done WSC, ZD & Co-Pilot x2)

Matchday 31 (8 matches, pro-rated)

This week, 19 people played
Most popular predicted result: Fulham vs Burnley WIN (18/19)
Most disputed predicted result: Bournemouth vs Man Utd (4-5-9 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (5,491/1)
Lowest odds: Geoffrey Skolnick (435/1)
Average odds: 1,704/1

Best predictor: Daniel Wigman (6.25/10)
Worst predictors: Me & Oli Kay (1.25/10)
Average score: 3.29/10

Best predicted result: Fulham WIN (18/19) Worst predicted result: Sunderland WIN (0/19)

Everyone's score:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 21/31)

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To this week's predos:

Good luck all

* Subjectively

** Seriously. Einstein, relativity, etc etc

S15M25: Oh Petal

February has made me shiver. Bloody freezing. Do I love it? I do not. That was more Dr Seuss than Kevin Keegan. I also do not enjoy the Dr's work. Irritating things to read. Fairweather Impossibilitist Joseph Machta also once told me that it's not Dr SOOSE but a very Germanic Dr ZOYZ. Which may well be true. But 1) my wife laughs at me. Again. and 2) it's all a bit Bellerin. You know what I mean. His name is Hector BEYERIN in good ol' España. But not in the King's Premier League. It's just BELLERIN. This desire not to go full native is more about not wanting to be a bit extra, not an excuse to butcher the forin names. Carzola. Joel Inton. Brian Mbwemo. Go away. There was some football though. Rather than going match by match, let's just say Carrick & Rosenior are at the wheel, the Wolves revival is ded, Palace are in free fall and everyone else is showing variable form as weeks of games every 3 days start to bite. Arsenal remain top wth a chance to extend this weekend, West Ham will be hoping to drag Leeds and Forest back into the mix...

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Let's get statty:

Matchday 23 This week, 22 people played

Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (22/22)
Most disputed predicted result: West Ham vs Sunderland (5-9-8)

Highest odds: AFM (14,5561)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels (2,068/1)
Average odds: 6,128/1

Best predictor: Loads of you (5/10)
Worst predictor: Oli Elton (2/10)
Average score: 3.77/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (22/22)
Worst predicted result: Nott(s) Forest WIN (0/22)

Matchday 24 This week, 21 people played

Most popular predicted result: Chelsea WIN (21/21)
Most disputed predicted result: Nott(s) Forest vs Crystal Palace (11-8-2 split)

Highest odds: AFM (1,960/1)
Lowest odds: Geoffrey Skolnick (494/1)
Average odds: 1,462/1

Best predictor: David Brickman (8/10)
Worst predictor: David Graniewitz (4/10)
Average score: 5.76/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (21/21)
Worst predicted result: Brentford WIN (0/21)

Everyone's score:

Leaderboard (>2/3; 17/24)

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To this week's predos:

Good luck all

S15M23: Bloggy Bloggy Bloggy

Well, that went well. We all know a congested schedule throws up surprises but come on...that's one for the bookies to replenish their coffers. It all started well when the Carrickbot 3000 managed a resurgent Man Utd to a deserved derby win over Man Utd. As with all ex-Fergie players, I envisage TMNT villain Krang, with ol' rednose himself pulling the strings from his abdominal control room.

Home wins for Chelsea's Ager of Men and Leeds were relatively predictable, before Liverpool continued their unbeaten streak with a commendable 1-1 home draw to imminently relegated Burnley. Sunderland's impressive home form provided some respite to our collective nonsense before Spurs and Arsenal let the side down, losing at home to West Ham and drawing a stalemate at Forest respectively. I'm particularly irked by the former. I'd even said to a friend going to the game "enjoy the last min West Ham winner". Gotta back up those instincts on the forms.

Wolves continued their progress towards beating Derby's miserable total with a good point at home to Newcastle, before Unai did his magic to see the xG bubble burst in home defeat to Everton. Finally, a lovely overhead kick last minute equaliser gained Brighton a point at home to a post-Semenyo Bournemouth in a game referred to at Impossibilitee Towers as the Pier Derby. It'll catch on.

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Let's get statty:

This week, 22 people played
Most popular predicted results: Arsenal & Liverpool WINS (22/22)
Most disputed predicted result: Leeds vs Fulham (8-8-6 split)

Highest odds: Hannah Daniels (3,636/1)
Lowest odds: Geoffrey Skolnick (923/1)
Average odds: 1,808/1

Best predictors: Chris Sutton & Aron Kleiman (4/10)
Worst predictor: Loads of you (1/10)
Average score: 2/10

Best predicted result: Chelsea WIN (15/22)
Worst predicted results: Liverpool vs Burnley & Nott(s) Forest vs Arsenal DRAWS and Everton WIN (0/22). For colour, there were 3 games with 0/22, 2x 1/22 and 1x2/22. Rubbish.

Everyone's score (is this the worst graph I've ever posted here?):

Leaderboard (>2/3; 15/22)

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To this week's predos:

Good luck all

S15M17-21: Results only

This is a monthly blog. Anyone who says anything to the contrary is a liar, a charlatan and a fraud and you should dissociate yourselves from them, immediately.

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Let's get statty:

Matchday 17

This week, 20 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (20/20)
Most disputed predicted result: Leeds vs Crystal Palace (5-7-8 split)

Highest odds: Feneley (1,500/1)
Lowest odds: Josh Daniels (927/1)
Average odds: 1,168/1

Best predictors: 4 of you (7/10)
Worst predictors: Joseph Machta & Chris Sutton (3/10)
Average score: 5.45/10

Best predicted result: Man City WIN (20/20)
Worst predicted result: Bournemouth vs Burnley DRAW (1/20 - Well done Zoe Daniels)

Matchday 18

This week, 22 people played
Most popular predicted result: Liverpool & Man City WINS (22/22)
Most disputed predicted result: West Ham vs Fulham (5-8-9 split)

Highest odds: Josh Daniels (4,355/1)
Lowest odds: Feneley (2,841/1)
Average odds: 3,406/1

Best predictor: Geoffrey Skolnick (7/10)
Worst predictor: WhoScored.com (2/10)
Average score: 5.09/10

Best predicted result: Liverpool & Man City WINS (22/22)
Worst predicted result: Sunderland vs Leeds DRAW (3/20)

Matchday 19

This week, 23 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man Utd, Chelsea & Newcastle WINS (23/23)
Most disputed predicted result: Brentford vs Spurs (8-10-5 split)

Highest odds: Hannah Daniels (2,914/1)
Lowest odds: Feneley (276/1)
Average odds: 1,112/1

Best predictors: Loads of you (4/10)
Worst predictors: Loads of you (2/10)
Average score: 3.05/10

Best predicted result: Newcastle WIN (23/23)
Worst predicted result: Chelsea vs Bournemouth & Man Utd vs Wolves DRAW (0/23)

Matchday 20

This week, 21 people played
Most popular predicted result: Aston Villa WIN (21/21)
Most disputed predicted result: Leeds vs Man Utd (8-6-7 split)

Highest odds: AFM (4,230/1)
Lowest odds: Aron Kleiman (1,164/1)
Average odds: 2,589/1

Best predictors: AFM & Zoe Daniels (6/10)
Worst predictor2: Eli Daniels (2/10)
Average score: 4.14/10

Best predicted result: Aston Villa WIN (21/21)
Worst predicted result: Man City vs Chelsea DRAW (0/21)

Matchday 21

This week, 22 people played
Most popular predicted result: Man City WIN (22/22)
Most disputed predicted result: West Ham vs Nott(s) Forest (7-6-9 split)

Highest odds: Geoffrey Skolnick (2,791/1)
Lowest odds: Feneley (1,008/1)
Average odds: 1,768/1

Best predictors: Daniel Wigman & Me (5/10)
Worst predictors: David Brickman & Geoffrey Skolnick (1/10)
Average score: 3.18/10

Best predicted result: Newcastle WIN (20/22)
Worst predicted result: Man City vs Brighton DRAW (0/22)

Everyone's score:

Leaderboard (>2/3; /)

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Blog on Friday with M22 results & new predos. I promise. Maybe.