Placeholder blog - check back tonight/tomorrow for my thoughts on the midweek games & the transfer window!
Pro-tip: there's nothing original as usual
Here's a lovely picture of Giroud to tide you over until then
Edit:
As if I was going to delete Oli
So we've entered February and what's really changed?
City - dominant. Defensive woes (all things relative eh? - splash £60m on France's answer to John Stones. Comfortable win midweek.
Man Utd - Looking to inject some fury and unpredictability with Alexis - but at what cost? Can't imagine Pogba et al will not want wage parity, which is reportedly 5% of their turnover solely on Alexis. 3 or 4 in the squad, plus the attendant rise in "2nd tier" player salaries and you can see some big changes as they try to keep pace with the noisy neighbours. They can't pull clear on the pitch though, with 2 recent Martial winners papering over poor performances, before a disembowelling (figuratively) by Spurs
Liverpool - lost arguably their Talisman (though Salah has a fair crack at that title this season) but spent big money to sort out their defence. Liverpool are just Arsenal but Northern however, so their issues aren't personnel related but systemic, as shown by the drastic improvement in performance since VVD signed.
Chelsea are what happens when people stop pulling in the same direction - this squad is the work of different visions (Mourinho, Conte, Emenalo, that Marina director etc) and frankly you can see that Conte is phoning it in at times. Was starting to thaw towards them since Terry, Mourinho etc left, but after stealing Oli, I'm glad to state that I would happily burn the entirety of Stamford Bridge to the ground. Cracking work to get Barkley for £15m given the homegrown status alone is probably worth that. The English Tiemoue Bakayoko they call him.
Spurs - actually pretty stable. Ticking along in the league, Moura an exciting signing. The 2 clouds on the horizon are the Real Madrid interest in Poch (which he may well turn down but would have to have
cojones gigantes to do so) and the fact that their stadium is apparently behind schedule and might not be ready for the new season, thus extending their stay at Wembley...
Arsenal - champions already. Of the basketcase trophy. Losing Alexis is a blow but expected. Sentimentally difficult to see him go to Utd, but clearly a good outcome in 1) getting Mkhitaryan and 2) freeing up wages for Ozil's new deal. This was supplemented by the loss of around 15 first team players, leaving us with only double-barrelled academy graduates for back up. We've also cleverly sent Giroud over to Chelsea ("Go West" we said. Geddit) to saboutage their season and try and mean that we have a chance at top 4 if we remember that the point of football is to score more goals than the opponent, not have more difficult surnames to spare.
Burnley - season's regressed to the mean slightly. Have invested in Spurs reject wingers
Leicester - season's taken a turn for the exicting with the RESISTANCE to the Mancunian petrodollar. Went predictably well as the rest of the season being a game of "where's Riyad?" Lost to...
Everton - the Allardici renaissance continues with panache. £45m on strikers & Mangala adds both the sharp end of the spear & the grunt needed to thrust it deep into the thorax of....well, Leicester and Burnley really. Shipped out a load of unwanted players and managed to end the Barkley tedium. Walcott's first goals midweek got them the W.
Bournemouth - couple of big wins. Felt a bit stale before but may be reinvigorated to ride Everton's coat-tails into...upper midtable.
Watford - New manager their big news. Same results though
20 clubs. Bloody long list that. I'm all for going down to 18.
West Ham: Done a racist (shocker) to enliven things up now they're safe
Crystal Palace: I'm sure stuff happened but regretting my decision to write a blog like this now
Newcastle: The great white hope got on her takeover horse and rode off into the distance. The living embodiment of treading water.
Brighton: Ulloa back. That's emosh. They need to kick on a little
Stoke: New manager, bounce arrived. Bit of money spent, never heard of any of them
Huddersfield: would it be fair to suggest that they are following the time honoured tradition of prudently preparing for next season in the championship?
Anyone noticed that I've swapped from hyphens to colons?
Southampton :-: They're very low in the table, aren't they? Sold VVD, bought a striker. Yoshida will save the day
Swansea: New manager, bounce. Still a long way to go for them
WBA: New manager, no bounce. Will be hoping for 10 Sturridge goal to save them and he'll be hoping to make a late dash for the World Cup squad.
That was a lot more tedious than planned. Won't be making that mistake again
Let's get statty:
19 people played
Most popular predicted results: Arsenal, Chelsea & Man City WINS (19/19)
Most disputed result: Newcastle vs Burnley (6-7-6 split)
Highest odds: Doron Salomon (2278/1)
Lowest odds: Steven Daniels 794/1
Average odds: 1536/1
Best predictor: David Silverman (5/10)
Worst predictor: Josh Daniels (1/10)
Average score: 3.53/10
Best predicted result: Man City WIN (19/19)
Worst predicted result: Bournemouth & Swansea WINS (0/19)
Everyone's results:
Leaderboard (>2/3; 17/25)
Predos:
Burnley vs Man City - MAN CITY
Bournemouth vs Stoke - BOURNEMOUTH
Brighton vs West Ham - BRIGHTON
Leicester vs Swansea - SWANSEA
Man Utd vs Huddersfield - MAN UTD
WBA vs Southampton - DRAW
Arsenal vs Everton - ARSENAL
Crystal Palace vs Newcastle - CRYSTAL PALACE
Liverpool vs Spurs - SPURS
Watford vs Chelsea - CHELSEA
Good luck guys
